Showing posts with label BASKETBALL ARCHIVE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BASKETBALL ARCHIVE. Show all posts

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Looking Back: Anecdotes On "Pro" Basketball And Life Abroad...


Recently my friend Marek Wojtera - the founder of Eurobasket.com - asked me to write a few pages summarizing my experiences playing basketball abroad.  He thought that my somewhat-unique story might be an interesting addition to a book he's currently working on.  (Apparently, not many guys played in the "mega-powerhouse" leagues in Costa Rica, Ireland, Malta, Mauritius, and Switzerland!)  

What follows is my contribution to his project...


On the morning of September 11th, 2001, I was at my desk working as an equity trader with a midtown Manhattan hedge fund.  It had been about two years since I had "retired" my professional basketball sneakers, having played my last game in Switzerland in 1999.  Our trading desk had just hung up from a conference call with a firm on the 105th floor of the first tower, and we'd soon find out that they were hit directly.  That day was a swirl of emotions for me; some traumatic, some confused, but almost all were negative.  About the only thing positive I can remember feeling that day was the warmth and genuine concern conveyed in those first few emails to hit my inbox post 8:46am.  No, they weren't from my family, or even from within the United States, for that matter.  Instead, they were from Ireland...from Malta...and from Mauritius...all asking if I was ok.

That's probably a bit much to take in, and you'd be right in wondering how all this relates to basketball.  So let me explain...

There's a Phil Jackson quote that sums up my feelings on the sport best.  In his book Sacred Hoops, Jackson - ever the basketball philosopher - says "Not only is there more to life than basketball, there's a lot more to basketball than basketball."  And for me, basketball overseas was - in large part - about finding out if that statement was true.

I never had delusions of grandeur when I set out to play for a paycheck.  I knew that I was not NBA material - that much is obvious.  But I also knew that basketball could help me achieve a set of life experiences that few are lucky enough to have.  I knew it could take me to unique and interesting countries, and gain me entry as a local, rather than a tourist...a neighbor rather than a visitor.  And that makes all the difference.  So, my goal was two-fold:  First, maximize my physical ability to get the absolute most that I could out of my own potential.  And yes, as a six-foot, relatively slow jump shooter, that was already asking a lot.  And second, I simply wanted to use basketball as my passport to cultural and geographical exploration.  I wanted to use the sport as a means to see whatever I could of the world, and to soak it all in.

I should also mention at this point that the experience of basketball overseas back in the mid-90s was quite different from today.  Back then, I spent most of my money buying phone cards to call back home.  Or I sent actually paper letters - this was just before email!  And there was certainly no Skype!  I have to imagine that players today are much less homesick simply because there is so much more technology to help stay in touch with family and friends back home.

It started in Costa Rica in 1995, where I played for the Universidad InterAmericana de Costa Rica (UICR) team.  My coach was a hustler named Francisco, who was excited by the sparkling white-skinned gringo that landed on his doorstep.  We played our games in the Gimnasio Nacional in La Sabana Park  in San Jose and the basketball was surprisingly good.  The Costa Rican league had good athletes - although not much size - who loved the game and played hard. (At least on my team.)

Playing before a "packed house" at the Gimnasio Nacional

From what I remember, Costa Rica at the time was geographically split into three parts:  the west coast, the east coast, and San Jose.  The east coast was considered rough, and was mostly Caribbean in culture, whereas the capital and the west coast were more hispanic.  One of my first games was in Limon, a rugged, industrial east coast town.  Apparently we weren't playing at the usual venue, and our team bus nervously circled the dimly lit streets, searching among dilapidated waterfront buildings for the unmarked gym.  Truthfully, I wondered if I was about to play a basketball game, or instead wander into some kind of back alley, secret, Far East fighting competition.  We finally found it, though, and we were escorted to a locker room that was just below street level and under the side of the building.  Looking up through the grates - which offered the only ventilation amidst the coastal humidity - we could see the sidewalk above.  Of course, as it turned out, the grates offered more than just ventilation.  They also provided just the right opening for the little kids in town to either pee or spit down at visiting teams!  It was pretty funny to see my teammates jump out of the way when the first stream of water came down, and it was just luck that had me sitting across the room against the opposite wall.  Holy crap, I thought. Welcome to "pro" basketball!

It didn't get any easier once we took the court, and it turned out to be a pretty tough game.  Of course, after the locker room incident, it was easy to assume that the local refs would swallow their whistles when we had the ball.  But I hadn't expected the level of athleticism and "style" that we encountered.  Cable TV and modern basketball - someway, somehow - had made it to the sleepy little industrial town of Limon.  during warm-ups, every opposing player wore wearing baggy shorts, short socks, and wagged their tongues while dunking (which is legal in international ball).  In other words, they had seen Michael Jordan play.  And these skinny, long-limbed, big-shorted, tongue-waggers were pulling off all of Jordan's best dunk contest stuff with ease.  I was transfixed, and I figured that we were in serious trouble.  But my teammates were surprisingly calm, and - as it turned out - they were right and I was the naive "rookie."  As the older, more experienced, organized, "big city" team, we pulled out the win.  After our locker room experience, though, no one showered after!  I can remember Coach Francisco saying "forget the showers, guys...let's get out of here!"

It was on the drive home that I first realized that the driving in Costa Rica is...well, um...insane.  The roads that branched out from San Jose were windy and elevated, and were carved around mountains and rain forests.  UICR charted an old school bus for road trips, and after that game in Limon we all fell asleep on the midnight ride back to San Jose.  As the nervous "new guy," I was a little too aware of the mortality rate on Costa Rican roads (highest in the world at the time, or so I had read), and I stayed awake.  And with the bus snoring in peace, imagine my shock (and horror!) in watching the grizzled old bus driver repeatedly sticking his entire torso out the window - all the way out to his waist. He was either using the blast of air to keep himself awake, or trying to see around bends to avoid advancing cars!  And either way, I was more than a little freaked out.  Are we about to die?  Is this normal?  Should I wake everyone up?  Is this guy crazy?  Somehow my squirming woke up Francisco, who - in classic "island-cool" style, like the Jamaican guy dozing on the street corner - barely rose his head from his crossed-arm dozing, opened just one eye, spotted my panic, and just started cackling.  "Don't worry," he said, in broken english.  "This is just how he drives.  We haven't died yet."  I nodded along and pretended to calm down.  But it wasn't reassuring.  And as you'd expect, I never slept on any roadtrip in Costa Rica.  I kept a close eye on Jose the bus driver instead.  Wouldn't you? I always wonder if that guy is still out there somewhere, navigating his bus around volcanic mountaintops, in the beautiful cloud rain forests surrounding San Jose.

Our practice facility also offered a valuable lesson in expecting the unexpected.  It was basically an old barn with a painted concrete floor.  During normal weather, the sliding "barn doors" on each side stayed open.  And when it rained, they were pulled closed.  But that's not the interesting part.  About half way through my first practice there I noticed two things, both at roughly the same time.  The first was that the floor was getting really slippery.  The combination of humidity and sweat droplets on painted concrete did not exactly lend itself to solid footing and traction.  Quite the opposite.  It was more like playing on an ice rink in basketball sneakers.  Basically we'd practice until we were pushing the limits of dangerous injury with regards to the floor...and then we stopped.  Again I thought Where the hell am I?  This is basketball overseas??  But that wasn't the surprise.  Around the same time the floor turned slippery, the ball also turned sticky.  How was that possible?  I finally stopped, and made a close inspection of the ball.  It turns out that over time - whether due to attraction to the lights or attraction to the players' sweat - the court would draw more and more ants and jungle bugs.  Bouncing the ball killed the bugs, which left a stickiness all over it.  It was tiny dead ants!!  My teammates had a good laugh over my reaction.  It wouldn't be the first time...

After Costa Rica, I landed a contract in Ireland, playing for the Dungannon club, in County Tyrone, just outside Belfast in Northern Ireland.  Unfortunately, I had severely sprained an ankle playing in a U.S. summer league before heading to Ireland in September 1995.  Without ample time to heal, the injury nagged me for weeks and my play was sub-par.  As a result, my time in Dungannon was short-lived and the team manager, Frankie O'Loane, released me six weeks after my arrival.  It was a valuable lesson on the realities of professional sport - I had never been cut from any team in my entire life.  It was a harsh experience, but at 23 years old, it helped me mature and it certainly toughened me up.  And in the end, it proved to be a blessing.

After allowing my injury to heal, I was picked up by Marathon Limerick in the Republic of Ireland, where I played out the season, ultimately making the all-star team, leading the country in scoring (36ppg), and setting the national record for points in a game at 61!

Ireland was full of amazing experiences, and I always look back on my time there fondly.  Yes, winter time is dark and drizzly, but for the rest of the year, the rolling green hills and historic countryside more than made up for winter.  I was lucky enough to arrive in Ireland just as the movie Braveheart had been released, and I loved imagining that the roads I traveled were once walked by the Celtic tribes of yore.  And just as a reminder that Irish lands still remain contested to this day, it was a feature of the "border crossing" between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland (which is officially the U.K., like Scotland or Wales) that armed guards would board the team bus for a quick bomb search because of the still-ongoing Protestant/Catholic conflicts in the country.  In fact, one of these late night "inspections" by a border patrol after a long road trip was probably the first time I had ever seen a real machine gun in my life.  It truly made me think I was in a different world - I had only seen guns like that in third world military conflicts on the nightly news...

IRA graffiti along buildings in Northern Ireland

Funny enough, even though Ireland is an English-speaking country, surprise language differences sometimes made me feel like I was in a different world too.  For example, I will never forget when one of the club members - Paddy Gross, who remains a good friend to this day - welcomed me to town, and asked me if I wanted to join him at the local pub for some crack!  What?!  Do the Irish have a drug problem?  Or just this guy?  Openly talking about crack rock?  What was next, heroin?  I stared back and him and stammered "cr...cr...crack?  Did you say crack?"  Yes, Paddy chuckled.  Craic.  You know, a bit of fun.  Good times.  It's a gaelic term.  Ah, so that explained it.  I quickly learned that the trunk of car was called the boot, that sidewalks are called footpaths, you don't root for a team - you barrack, you never say thanks for the ride - instead it's thanks for the lift.  And remember, this was the mid-90s, but under no circumstances would you tell a young lady that she had a nice fanny pack.  (I will let someone else explain that last one to you, but I am very lucky that Paddy set me straight early on.)  I also learned to appreciate afternoon tea and "bikkies" (biscuits), I found out that when I ordered salad they brought me cole slaw, and I quickly became addicted to their candy bars.  Chocolate bars in Ireland are dispensed in refrigerated machines set alongside soda machines.  So...yes, Kenmare mussels are incredible, fresh caught whiting is delicious, and a local Irish stew on a cold night is an absolute pleasure.  But you truly haven't lived until you've tasted a perfectly chilled Kit Kat or Twix bar, especially with the less-pastuerized milk chocolate overseas.

Guinness and good craic with the Marathon Limerick team.
I am third from the left and Ian Stewart (Southern Illinois) is third from the right.  

As for basketball, the Irish League was good, but very rough.  Most of the Irish were converted rugby players or gaelic football players, so physicality was part of the game for them.  How did that translate to the game itself?  Well, lets just say that I collected a few bruises along the way, and took my share of free throws.  Speaking of free throws, referees were a huge drawback to the Irish League.  No fault of these guys (and girls, seriously...well ahead of the NBA!) -- it's just that they were completely new to the game.  Bad calls were a problem, inconsistency was a big problem, and even positioning came into play.  Playing for Mid-Sutton in a big "National Cup" game against storied club (or side) Neptune, I shot a deep three pointer and actually landed on the referees foot, twisting my ankle pretty badly.  I was furious - what was that guy doing standing right on top of me!  I had it taped at halftime, but managed something like 10 points in the second half after scoring 25 points in the first.  Losing that game was incredibly frustrating, since it was the upstart MSB Club's chance to beat an established powerhouse...and I am still mad at that damned ref.

Early scoring was a strategy I employed with great success in the Irish League.  The first time through the league, when no one really new one another's players (even the locals moved around a lot in the off-season), it was easy to for me to sneak in the first ten points of the game.  In general, with two Americans per team, most imports were either tall or African-American.  And I am neither.  In fact, I look more Irish than anything.  I would enjoy a good laugh about five minutes into the game, asking the other team's Americans "did you figure out that I'm the American yet?  One of you guys might consider guarding me."  Trash-talk, yes, but it was subtle and effective.  And fun...

Off the court, Ireland was equally enjoyable.  However, while the Americans were able to dominate the basketball courts, the locals got their revenge after the games, when they would dominate the pub.  My teammates loved lining up the Irish whiskey and the Guinness drafts after games and practices, and would then "teach me how to drink."  Let's just say that I left a few braincells in Ireland during my time there.  To this day, I think of a pub called Nancy Blake's when someone asks me about my favorite bars in the world.  The front section was dimly lit and had a cackling fire.  Local musicians played traditional Gaelic music while an older crowd sipped strong Irish drinks.

Traditional Irish music in the front room of a pub.

The middle section was a bit more lively.  A younger crowd swayed to contemporary Irish favorites like U2, The Cranberries (from Limerick), and Thin Lizzy.  And the back section boasted an open dance floor that spilled out to a heated outdoor terrace.  This was the loudest and most energetic room of Nancy Blake's, and my teammates and I spent most of our post-game outings here.  One great thing about drinking in Ireland - the pubs all stop serving alcohol at 11pm.  The lights flicker and "last call" is announced.  Typically, groups would then pool their money into one last large order, lining up - say - 10 pints and 10 shots to last the next hour or so.  It depended on the bar...sometimes they'd toss you at 11:15pm, and sometimes you can hang around an hour.  The best thing about this, however, was that it made you go home and go to bed!  In fact, you'd typically be home by midnight for at least eight hours sleep, which greatly aided the hangover recovery the next day!  This may sound strange, but as a happily married father today, I can now admit that I really enjoyed the fact that Irish pub culture seemed - at least in part - more about "male bonding" than the social scene.  I truly enjoyed hanging out with the guys, cracking jokes on each other and drinking the night away.  And I found it hilarious when my young Irish teammates would break into song together.  I mean, there's something you never see in the States!  These guys would lock arms at every damn U2 ballad and just nail the sing-along.  No fear, no shame, and they sounded half-decent!  It's a singing culture, truly.

Limerick was a really great town, despite it's rough reputation.  And in many ways it was a throwback to traditional, rural Ireland.  During my off days from basketball practice I would jog in the roads surrounding the city, and oftentimes my route would be diverted by cows completely blocking the road, as a farmer would be moving his herd from one field and down the road to another.  The farmers always gave a smile and a shrug as if to say "hey, what can you do?"  In truth, I probably looked stranger to them in my bright basketball gear and headphones than they looked to me, walking down the street surrounded by 50 head of cattle!


As for Dublin, what a great place.  Food, people, parks, history, architecture...Dublin in 1996 was just in the beginning stages of the "Celtic Tiger" rise that a 10% flat corporate tax helped spark.  It was a fun place to be, and I actually enjoyed some great basketball in Dublin, where the 1996-97 Mid-Sutton Baldoyle team became known in the local media as the "Dream Team of Ireland."  Naturalized veteran Americans Ed Randolph and Jerome Westbrooks had teamed up and recruited another very talented veteran wing player named Gerald Kennedy.  The missing piece was a point guard, and as my season in Limerick came to a close, Jerome invited me to Dublin for a "recruiting visit" to gauge my interest for that following season.  Standing on the curb outside a traditional Irish fish & chip stop with Jerome, swaying slightly from the 4-5 Guinness we'd just enjoyed, and watching the whisps of steam escape in the chill Irish night as I peeled back my newspaper-wrapped fried fish and inhaled the salt & vinegar scent, I looked up at the crisp, clear night sky and thought "yeah, I'd like to play here."  It was a great decision, and Dublin will go down as among my favorite cities of all time as a result.  My Irish teammates are also some of the most interesting characters I have ever come across.  More than a few of these guys worked as bartenders in addition to their basketball duties, and they were always full of jokes and quick-witted quips.  In contrast to my Costa Rican experience, I spent most road trips in Ireland laughing the entire way to the gym, and I think back fondly on those trips.

In early 1997, however, Mid-Sutton faced some financial difficulties on the sponsorship front, however, and my salary seemed to arrive later and later each week.  It made me nervous that I would even be paid at all, and - as a result - when a Maltese team (Qormi Basket Club) parted ways with their American and was in need of a replacement, I was more than happy to head to the small, sunny, historic island in the middle of the Mediterranean.

The Mediterranean island of Malta from atop an old fortress

I was surprised - as you probably are - to hear that Malta had a league at all.  It was small by most measures, and reflected the tiny nation (estimated population in 1997:  about 400,000).  The league had 10 teams, and only allowed one import per club.  Seven clubs had Americans, two brought in less-expensive Yugoslavian imports, and one went without an import at all.  The teams practiced in their local towns, but all league games were played in Ta' Qali National Arena, which was a converted World War II airplane hangar.  Because the island was so small, all the Americans new each other, and we actually met at the National Arena almost every morning to lift weights together and play 3-on-3 before heading out to our individual team practices at night.  I had certainly never seen that done before, but it was fun.  And it was great training; these 3-on-3 games which featured players like Tim Britt (Tennessee-Martin), Brian Holden (Drexel), Lynn Tryon (Colorado), and Roger Fasting (Montana) were some of the best that I have ever been a part of.

Going up against Tim Britt from Tennessee

I had arrived halfway through the season and immediately fell in love with the historical element of Malta, which sits just off the "toe" of Italy and had been a crossroads of culture dating as far back as the Phoenicians.  I was placed in an apartment in Rabat, a small quintessential hilltop town which sat beside the history ancient Roman city of Mdina, and looked down on the entire island and the surrounding deep purple Mediterranean Sea.  After rainy, dark, and often-dreary Ireland, it was heaven on earth for me.  My team also set me up with a restaurant - The Camps - which provided me with my daily meals.

The lunch crowd at The Camps - Johnny is at the far right.

The owner of the place, Johnny, wore coke-bottle glasses and spoke with a rich Maltese accent, which made him sound like a cross between an Italian mafia don, a belligerent Brit, an Arab elder, and a Hebrew wise man all at once.  (In fact, Maltese is an incredibly complicated language.  It borrows vocabulary and elements of speech from each culture that has controlled the island at one point or another: French, English, Arabic, Hebrew, Italian, etc.)  Johnny looked me up and down on my first visit to The Camps and said "ah, de new American...burrrger and cheeps, right?  Datsa what de last guy eat all de time."  Tell you what, Johnny, I laughed.  How about you give me the special of the day every day, and just don't tell me what it is until after.  His eyes widened.  Reeeelly?  Johnny was so excited, and apparently, I had made a friend for life.  It also kicked off a culinary adventure of sorts.  I ate horse that season.  And sweetbreads.  And massive stuffed squid.  And fenek (rabbit), a local delicacy.  Johnny also made his own wine and sheep's cheese...and the Maltese bread?  Wow.  In my opinion - and I love French bread - Malta's bread is the finest in the world.  I also discovered a local pastry called pastizzi, which is something like a croissant filled with creamy and delicious cheese.  Washed down with the national soft drink - Kinnie - it was absolute heaven.

The basketball in Malta was so-so, but the sunny climate and historic element of the country more than made up for it.  The capital, Valetta, is essentially a fortified city, frozen in time, from an era of Knights and Crusades, and pirates and brigands.  In fact, steps in the hilly city center of Valetta are very broad but only an inch or two high because the knights could not lift their armored legs any higher!

The broad, thin steps of Valetta

Being in Malta is literally to walk in the footsteps of history.  And at least twice Malta has been at the forefront of critical military conflict.  In the 1500s, a small garrison of one thousand knights held off an invading Ottoman army of 30,000 or more.  Had Malta fallen, we might all be speaking Arabic to this day, for the Ottomans would have then controlled the Mediterranean and moved up to Sicily and right on through Italy into the heart of what was then the Western world.  And during World War II, when the British controlled the island, a haggard skeleton crew of soldiers and pilots, exhausted and starved, cut off from supply lines, repelled attacks from Mussolini's air forces time and time again.  In fact, the entire nation of Malta was awarded the King George Cross for valor during WWII...

Getting back to basketball, I truly found myself pushed to the limit as an import in Malta, simply because so much was expected of that one player.  When the team President and Manager met me at the Airport for the first time, I was surprised to hear that most Americans averaged 40 points and 10 rebounds a game!  Hell, I had not gotten 10 rebounds in a game since I was probably 12 years old and then the tallest guy on the court.  "Ok," I laughed.  How about 40 points and 10 assists?"  I quickly came to find out that American's routinely scored 50 points per game in the Maltese League.  It wasn't that hard - we just took all the shots.  I can remember one game between my club, Qormi (the Q is silent), and Floriana.  Floriana's American was a tremendous player named Tyron McCoy (Virginia Commonwealth), who had a long career in Europe which even extended on to the Euroleague.  Tyron and I had a shoot-out...I think he scored 50 points and I scored 55, but his team won by one point, 102-101.  The next day's newspaper article, however, placed the blame for the loss squarely on my shoulders for misfiring on the final shot to win the game.  Wow, I thought.  This place is tough! 55 points and it was considered a poor performance by the press!

Referees were also a problem in Malta, as they were in any country where basketball was relatively new.  Once, a league referee became sick, and had to be replaced at the last minute.  The Maltese Basketball Federation chose a soccer referee to fill in, and brought in the oldest and most experienced professional.  The only problem was, he didn't know the rules of basketball!  At a critical point, near the end of a hard-fought game, I was trapping an opposing player with one of my teammates and we managed to steal the ball.  But the whistle blew and I spun around to see the soccer referee with a raised arm pointing at me.  That was bad enough, but he blew the whistle again (even though play had already stopped) and then pointed at my teammate, who already had four fouls.  He was calling a foul on each of us on the same play!  And my teammate had fouled out!  I had never seen anything like it.  My coach was going crazy.  I tried to plead with the ref.  I explained to him that you can't have two separate fouls on the same play.  Oh yes you can, he said.  Because you both fouled!  Needless to say, we lost a close game...and that "double-call" had a lot to do with it!

At some point near the end of my season in Malta, I was contacted by the Real Club (yes, like Real Madrid) in Mauritius (!), who was looking to import an American for their playoff run.  Completely confused, I asked a Maltese travel agent friend, Colin Portelli, for some information.  He showed me a brochure for what looked exactly like Hawaii -- a total island paradise.  In fact, Mark Twain once famously wrote - when passing through Mauritius in 1896 - "You gather the idea that Mauritius was made first, and then heaven; and that heaven was copied after Mauritius."

New friends in Mauritius, island paradise...

I quickly accepted the contract since it was for a month of play after my season in Malta would be complete, and also not-so-quickly discovered - after a 45 minute flight to Rome and then 15 hours from Rome to Mauritius - that Twain was right.  Again I had stumbled on another historically significant island.  Mauritius was first "civilized" by the Dutch, who stopped off at this ocean oasis for fresh water and provisions while traveling from India and around the Cape of Good Hope in Africa during the 1500-1600s spice trade.  Mauritius is also famous for the now-extinct Dodo bird, which was rumored to be so slow and dumb that the Dutch would simply walk up to them and club them on the head.  Modern-day Mauritius is an eclectic mix of cultures.  There was a wealthy French and British upper class, left over from the Napoleonic control of the country and then the British rule that followed.  An Indian population had developed after Indian workers had originally been imported to work in the tea fields.  A Chinese population remained from when workers had also been imported to work on rail lines.  There were also eastern African muslims, and a local creole culture.  All in all, it was quite a mix.  In Mauritius, it's not uncommon to see a catholic church next to a mosque, which is next to a Hindu temple.  Not every country can say that!  Mauritius also has gorgeous beaches, amazing vanilla tea, fresh seafood, and one of my favorite local beers:  Phoenix, otherwise known as "L'araignee" or "The Spider" for the design on the label.

After a Real Club practice.  I am 2nd from the left.

I have to admit that I was something of a celebrity in Mauritius.  No American had ever played there before.  I was whisked off of my flight and right to a press conference, where I was proudly introduced by my new family, the Real Club.  I found myself on the front page of the national newspapers for weeks, and people recognized me in the streets.  On the other hand, other clubs were less than happy about my arrival and registration, and some clubs protested the games against Real.  Other times, when we did play, opposing players tried to hurt me on purpose.  On one occasion, an especially rugged local player gave me a cheap shot elbow to the jaw, then was tossed from the game, but not before throwing the ball at the referee.  My jaw felt like it was broken, and as soon as the game ended, I was taken to the local hospital, or at least the nearest one that was open, and had an x-ray machine.  To be honest, I thought the place looked a little different than most hospitals, but I just figured that I was not seeing straight considering I may have had a concussion.  They took full x-rays of my head right away (given the technology/machinery at hand, I can only assume they pumped my body full of WW2 era radiation), and thankfully they came back negative.  It was only later than I discovered why the "clinic" looked so funny.  It was a veterinarian's office!  No wonder the x-ray room felt strange to me - the prior "customers" had been cats and dogs!  I still have that full x-ray of my entire skull, by the way.  It's a great souvenir.

Basketball in Mauritius was scattered and disorganized. Players were athletic but unskilled, and games there were relatively easy for me.  My club, Real, was very well-funded, but we still practiced at night, outside!  (I can't even imagine what the other poorer clubs did.)  Despite it all, it was fun to be a small part of Mauritius "history," as I helped Real win their first of several championships in a row.  Just as a late night injury had been forced to take me to a vet's office for medical treatment, getting food at 10pm after practice was also very different.  Mauritius in 1997 was just this sleepy little island.  Even the capital city of Port Louis was closed up at 9:30 or 10pm.  My teammates soon showed me a great "trick" on how to get food late at night however, and it was thanks to Ramadan.  You see, there was a mosque (Jummah) near the outdoor court where we played, and a man would arrive each night with a huge metal cauldron somehow strapped to the back of his moped.  He would set-up in front of the mosque to feed the hungry throngs of people just ending their day's fast, and the wafting smell of chicken biryani wafting from his massive pot was enough to draw me and my teammates over as well.  It's a heck of a mental image:  a group of muslims breaking fast, sitting side-by-side with a Mauritian basketball team, sitting on the sidewalk amidst the 1800s french architecture of downtown Port Louis, looking up at the Southern Cross constellation, and eating the greatest chicken biryani I have ever tasted.

Once again, I was simply amazed that the game of basketball - this sport where you tossed an orange leather ball through an iron hoop ten feet off the ground - delivered me here.  All I could do was shake my head in amazement.  After spending a few weeks in Mauritius, I quickly began to understand why the local players weren't better.  There were simply too many distractions!  I learned to scuba dive in Mauritius, which I consider one of my passions to this day.  The underwater world is simply incredible.  I spent my days at the beach and stayed up late after practice and drank Mauritius' famous Green Island Rum with my teammates, most of whom could only imagine what a day in New York City might be like.  During the day, before basketball practice, I would walk to the local nearby beach where the locals would recognize me and share their coconut juice and grilled fruit bat (yes! I have eaten bat!) lunches with me.  At night, I would sit on my terrace, looking up from my book (there was barely TV) to note the sounds of crashing waves and tropical birds.  Yep, Mark Twain was right after all.  Mauritius was heaven.

"Drinking from the Cup"...League Champions!

Trou aux Biches, my "personal" beach, down the street from my apartment.

My final season was spent in just outside of Lausanne, Switzerland, playing for the Echallens Club.  After my experience in Mauritius, Switzerland seemed uber-modern to me, but in reality the facilities and the infrastructure were not that dissimilar from Ireland or Malta.  As a country, Switzerland was simply gorgeous, and - given its size - I was amazed at how much open space there was.  And the mountains...wow.  I wasn't until the third day there that I realized that those "clouds" way up in the sky were not clouds, but instead the snowcaps of the Alps off in the distance.

In front of the Chateau Chillon, on Lake Geneva, Switzerland

Aside from the snowy mountaintops, however, Switzerland was much greener than I imaged.  It seemed like the entire countryside was farmland.  The basketball was good, but after 4-5 years of long seasons abroad on the rubber courts in Ireland or the outdoor courts of Mauritius, I felt myself slipping.  Truth be told, by 1999 I realized that I was a step slower than I had been, and I also realized I had little desire to play any more.  Actually, I didn't mind the playing, but I was growing tired of people telling me when I had to lift weights, when I had to train, when I had to run, etc.  Maybe I was just growing up, but I felt like I was moving past sport as a career.  There was simply so much more I wanted to do.  I ended my career on a bittersweet note, losing a close game in the Swiss playoffs to a bigger and more experienced team.  I scored 39 points, however, and shot 9 of 11 from the three point line.  Not a bad way to go out!
My teammates and I met for a traditional meal of raclette afterwards.  We sat around a table grilling our own cheese and vegetables over a small flame with a paddle, and we tossed back more than a few glasses of crisp, local white wine.  Looking around the room, I thought about the people at the table...I noted their smiling, laughing faces, and pictured myself from above pulling back from this house...to this town...to this country...to this continent...until I pictured myself as if from a satellite image, halfway across the planet earth from my home, sitting with people I never would have otherwise met, in a town I would have otherwise seen, eating a meal I had never heard of before...and all because of the sport of basketball.

Looking back, I feel that I satisfied my original goals.  I certainly maximized my potential as a player.  With limited skills and physical ability, I simply could not have gone further than I had.  I had made a little money along the way, enough to make me feel justified to call myself a basketball professional.  And I had also accomplished the more important goal of experiencing life...making new friends...seeing the world...and learning about myself and others every step of the way.  I think back to that Phil Jackson quote - there's more to basketball than basketball - and proudly realize that I was lucky enough to have lived it.

And despite the horrors and trauma of 9/11, I took solace in the fact that I had made these friendships abroad and that they reached out to me with concern.  Amidst a dark and disturbing day, it helped me remember the good in people, and that the world can be a very small place, and we its citizens are all connected in some way or another.  And I thought about how most of my connections came from the game of basketball, and how lucky that made me...on that day in particular.


RANDOM FINAL THOUGHTS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
BEST MEAL -- Fresh-caught branzino, Valetta, MALTA; squid in black bean sauce, Port Louis, MAURITIUS.
BEST GAME -- 44 points vs. Hibernians for Qormi Club, 1997, MALTA; 42 points vs. Tolka Rovers for Marathon Limerick, 1996 IRELAND
MOST POINTS -- 61 points vs. MSB for Marathon Limerick, 1996, IRELAND.
BEST TEAM -- Mid-Sutton Baldoyle, Dublin, IRELAND.
BEST BAR -- Nancy Blake's, Limerick IRELAND.
BEST AMERICAN TEAMMATE -- Ian Stewart (Southern Illinois University), Limerick IRELAND.
BEST LOCAL TEAMMATE -- Bernard Walsh, Mid-Sutton, IRELAND.
FUNNIEST TEAMMATE -- Bernard Walsh, Mid-Sutton, IRELAND.
BEST AMERICAN I PLAYED AGAINST -- Brian Holden (Drexel University), MALTA; Mike Campbell (LIU), SWITZERLAND; Barry Pierce (UPenn), IRELAND.
STRANGEST MEAL -- Grilled fruit bat, MAURITIUS.
BEST BEER -- Guinness, IRELAND.
BEST DESSERT -- Movenpick ice cream, SWITZERLAND.
BEST CHEESE -- Sheep's cheese, MALTA.
BEST GYM TO PLAY IN -- Ta' Qali, MALTA.
BEST HOBBY WHILE PLAYING -- Scuba Diving; MAURITIUS.
BEST BEACH -- Jaco Beach, COSTA RICA; Pereybere, MAURITIUS.
BEST COACH -- Jerome Westbrooks, Mid-Sutton, IRELAND; Bane Vukovic, Qormi, MALTA.
LONGEST FLIGHT -- 24 hours, NYC to PARIS to MAURITIUS.
BEST LOCAL SNACK -- Pastizzi and Kinnie soda, MALTA.
SCARIEST ROADS -- COSTA RICA.
WORST REFEREES -- IRELAND.
MOST DANGEROUS FANS -- MAURITIUS.
BEST SEASON -- 1995-96, Marathon Limerick, 36ppg, IRELAND.
BEST YEAR -- 1996-97, Dublin to Malta to Mauritius.
BEST APARTMENT -- 4 Dingli Road, Rabat, MALTA.
BEST RUN -- Rabat to Dingli Cliffs, MALTA.
BEST SIDE TRIP -- Malta to Cairo, 1997.
BEST AIRPORT -- Malta.
BEST SIGHTSEEING -- Valetta, MALTA, Grand Baie, MAURITIUS, Dublin, IRELAND, Montreux and Lake Geneva, SWITZERLAND.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Early lessons from the Canisius hardwood...

Early lessons:  Basketball at my high school was - and is - a big deal.  In fact, the Buffalo Catholic League - and Buffalo basketball in general - is better than you would expect.  Teams are well-coached and disciplined, coaches are respected and admired, and players are blue-collar tough and surprisingly talented.  Cliff Robinson came out of Buffalo.  So did Bob Lanier.  You probably never heard of Randy Smith but look him up - he was MVP of the 1978 NBA All-Star game (over Dr. J!) and he owned the NBA ironman record for most consecutive games before AC Green broke it.  (He also regularly abused me in pick-up games when I was a soph/junior and he was training for the '88 NBA Legends Game.)  Trevor Ruffin played for the Suns and the Sixers and once led the NBA in points per minute as a super sub (fyi...Trevor also torched me in pick-up games).  Eric Eberz had a great career at Villanova (ok, there's a theme..Eric went to my rival high school and once blocked my shot into roughly the 12th row).  Lenny Stokes played for Cincinnati.  Jonny Flynn plays for the Timberwolves.  Current Michigan coach John Beilein is a Buffalo guy and recruited me out of high school.  Christian Laettner was the top-dog in my era and his squad won the New York State championship a couple times.  You get my point.

My middle school did not have a basketball team.  I played local Boy's Club basketball (one season on the 11-and-under team and one season on the 13-and-under team) and I had no exposure to city basketball or to what I imagined that level of play to be.  And as you might expect, I was slightly intimidated by the prospect of making my "big city," private, all-boys, gloried-and-storied tradition, high school freshman team. (I know, I know...you can guffaw at the concept that Buffalo could ever be "big city," but as a kid who grew up in France and in the Buffalo 'burbs, it was to me)

Canisius vs. St. Joe's at CHS


So, motivated by fear and by stories that over 100 kids would be trying out for 15 spots, I did what any thirteen-year-old-boy-in-the-pre-internet-and-pre-cable-television days would do:  I worked my ass off.  I suppose the benefit of relative isolation in the 'burbs was the emphasis on drills, rather than playing, that isolation forced on me.  (And on a 1000-acre estate, no less -- my mom was the cook for the owners of the Buffalo Sabres hockey team so we had a "servant's house" on what was then Ess Kay Farm - for Seymour Knox - and is now state-owned and just known as "Knox Farm.")

So I spent that summer in the driveway, doing shooting drills and dribbling drills and defensive slides and anything else I could think of.  Like Jerry Rice in the prior post, I was motivated by the fear of failure, of embarrassing myself or my parents, and I wanted more than anything to just make that Freshman team.  And along the way (and I say this with the obvious benefit of hindsight), I learned a valuable lesson that I carry with me to this day:  self-esteem is not something you can stumble on, or uncover, or magically develop.  It's something you earn for yourself.  With work.  Lots and lots of work.

[This, by the way, is a topic for another blog, but may explain some of my disillusion with modern basketball...back then we had to practice fundamentals, whether alone or on a team...today's AAU structure for kids just means games, games, and more games...do they ever actually practice anything anymore?]

Anyway, let's fast-forward to October/November 1985... my world was a blur.  Canisius High School was demanding, both academically and culturally.  The Jesuits expected excellence.  It was nearly impossible to "slide by."  For me, this was the opposite of public middle school, but - once acclimated - I actually took to it like a fish to water.  Imagine being respected for having good grades rather than having to hide your report card from the bullies.  Imagine being revered for being a good athlete rather than being shunned by the "cool kids" who hung out on street corners in 8th grade and raided their parents liquor cabinets.  It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, and at the absolute best time.  

Basketball season, however, loomed.  Would I make the Freshman team?  Would I play, maybe even start?  My goals were humble and I held out hope...and I had some measure of confidence in my past summer of work.  I began to piece together clues as to my chances:  Students at Canisius were divided into 4-5 sections that usually shared the same groups of teachers and same classes in any one semester.  And for that first semester, I remember we had a pretty competitive basketball game in our Phys Ed group.  But while I felt that I had held my own, I did not read too much into it...after all, I still wasn't sure how I measured up against the freshmen in the other four sections.

When it came time for try-outs, though, a few kids in my section made a shocking announcement:  they were not trying out for the Freshman team, but instead for the Junior Varsity!  As a relatively quiet - and certainly naive - kid, I had no idea what to make of this.  Did they know something I didn't about the other sections?  Did they know something I didn't about the sophomores?  And judging by the guys who made this announcement, and the absolute confidence they showed, I was intrigued.  I should also mention that this was an era of the two-working-parents-who-had-more-than-enough-on-their-plates, which was in stark contrast to today's "helicopter" parents, hovering around every turn and involved in every decision.  So I don't ever recall mentioning any of this to my folks, but I do remember thinking that I was just as good as those guys who were so positive about their JV chances.  And in my mind, if I flopped, I'd just get downgraded back to the Frosh team and be no worse off.  So I decided:  if those guys are going out for JV, I probably should too.

JV try-outs - like so many things at that age - were also a blur.   Maybe there were 50 kids out for the team that first day.  Maybe there were more.  The JV coach was an intimidating guy who had a Magnum P.I. look and an ex-athlete's swagger.  In fact, Coach Dave Butler was something of a Canisius legend, having excelled in football, basketball, and baseball during his time as a student, and then earning a football scholarship to college.  Now back at Canisius, he coached three sports and had a familiarity with the football guys - the guy's guys - that made me feel like Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club.  As a result, he scared the crap out of me.  He demanded discipline, he was highly organized, and he seemed to only mingle with students he already knew and who had already proven themselves as athletes.  In short, I felt very much like an outsider, and my confidence was fading fast.

[It's also worth pointing out at this point that our Varsity team was highly decorated and expected to compete for the Catholic League championship - and maybe more - that year.  The Varsity guys walked among us like gods: Jerome Rodgers, Kevin Milligan, Mike McCarthy, Ray Flannery... these dudes were right out of the Chip Hilton books I devoured at the time.  It was all incredibly intimidating, and I can't even imagine how much extra pressure having girls around would have added to the mix for me - thank god it was all-boys and I could pick my battles at that age.]

But as luck would have it, either because of the sheer number of players trying out or because of his obsessive-compulsive organizational style, Coach Butler decided that the first two days of JV try-outs would be minimum playing and maximum fundamentals-testing.  Imagine that.  I had spent the entire summer doing basketball drills completely alone and now I was going to be graded - and subsequently rewarded - for that?  I began to think this might work out for me after all...

A funny thing happened, though.  The testing didn't quite go as I had expected.  While Coach Butler - tape measure, clipboard, and stopwatch in hand - measured our sprint pace, our defensive slides, our vertical leap, our time in dribbling end-to-end, or dribbling around chairs, or revolutions of a basketball passed around our waists, he shared none of the results with us.  I remember little but grunts and scowls as he noted my times.  This lasted for two days, Thursday and Friday, and none of us had any clue as to where we stood.  We had anxiously looked to the coach for hints on our standing, or lack thereof.  But for two days he continued to yuck it up with the sophomores and to treat the frosh - especially the ones he did not know, me included - like the peons that we were.  I started to feel deflated and - looking around - got the same vibe from my fellow freshmen.  A couple of early and obvious cuts had already been made from Thursday to Friday, but even though a few of us were still around on Friday afternoon, we were beginning to get the drift.  Just like a turkey on the third Wednesday in November -- after Friday's testing ended, we expected the axe to fall.

But somehow, it didn't.  Try-outs, and thus final cuts, had been extended another day...and into the weekend. This presented an interesting logistical dilemma.  For those of us in the suburbs (most of us, actually), coming back in for a Saturday try-out when no one was of age to drive presented a real issue.  Most guys thought their parents might bring them back (if they had no prior commitments...again, this was a time when parents lives did not revolve around their kids), but no one felt good about it.  In fact, most of the freshmen felt that it was just an oversight on Coach Butler's part that he failed to post cuts on Friday night...and that we'd all be struggling to come into the city on a Saturday for absolutely nothing.

One of my classmates, let's call him Tim Bosgrove, was particularly incensed.  I was impressed by him, really.  For a fellow freshman, he clearly had more confidence - and much bigger balls - than me.  Listen, guys, he argued, my parents are busy tomorrow.  They're not gonna bring me back in here.  And what for anyway?  Butler hates us, he has no use for us...he's just gonna cut us regardless.  Tim had a point, to be sure.  And he was convincing.  Really convincing.  My 13-year-old-self nodded along to his argument.  Hell, my 38-year-old self is still nodding along.  After a few minutes of this, it was agreed by the group that Timmy B would speak for all of us, and to approach Coach Butler to ask about his true intentions for Saturday practice.  Somehow (and I wish I could remember how that happened), I was nominated to tag along. 

We found the coach among the seats in the auditorium, holding court with a parent or alum or two.  He eyed us warily as we approached.  I was quiet as Timmy B launched into his soliloquy.  Coach Butler patiently watched, betraying no emotion whatsoever.  Finally, Timmy got to the point:  ...so, we were just wondering...you know...based on how things have gone...with Saturday practice and all...I mean, do you think it's worth it for us to come in?  Butler first arched his eyebrows, and then honed a narrow gaze toward his inquisitor, countering with the question that any teacher or coach could rely on in this situation:  Well, Timmy...do you think it's worth it? 

Caught a bit wrong-footed now, Timmy stammered in an effort to regain his balance.  Well, umm.  I'm really not sure, that's why I'm asking...umm...ah...it's just that it might be hard to get a ride in tomorrow and all...  At this, Butler nodded nonchalantly, uh-huhn, and then switched his focus to me.  So what about you? he asked.  I either said something incredibly articulate like I dunno, or just smiled weakly and shrugged.  I don't remember.  But I do remember Coach Butler's next comment, and it's one of those silly phrases that is indelibly seared into my brain, for reasons unknown.  It just affected me somehow.  He stood, shook his head slightly, and said with a smirk...well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do...and walked away. 

Whaaaat?!  It had totally backfired.  He gave us no clues to work with, and we had probably pissed him off to boot.  Now he would hate us whiny freshman
even more than before.  And he ultimately left us with some kind of friggin' koan like what is the sound of one hand clapping?  I mean, to a young 9th grader...what the heck does ya gotta do what ya gotta do mean??  How - exactly - do I interpret that?  Was Coach Butler saying, hey, it's no big thing, if you don't want to come back, fine with me...don't come back? 

That had to be it.  He meant whatever...do what you want.  He really didn't care.  Any spark of hope that I held out for myself was extinguished in a wash of confusion and despair.  I had no idea how the skills testing even went, and I had only played some minimal (3-on-3) basketball to that point.  I saw my chances of making the team at near zero.  It all seemed like a waste of time. 

Except for those words, which continued to rattle around in my brain:  ya gotta do what ya gotta do

Ultimately, forced to make a choice, I did just that.  I took Coach Butler's phrase - at literal value - to mean:  make a decision, and take responsibility for your own actions.  I can't say exactly how it all went down, but somehow I got back the next day.  And what I discovered that Saturday morning was - at least to me - nothing short of amazing.  Remember, when approached the afternoon prior, the coach did not betray the smallest possibility of the slightest potential of the tiniest glimmer of my chances (or anyone else's) of making that team.  The guy was a rock.  But on Saturday morning, there it was posted for all to see:  in black-and-white, across the board, on each and every test, I had finished at the top

And Butler probably knew that all along.  Looking back, I think it was another important lesson (again, hindsight makes this easy):  courage should flow from preparation...believe in yourself...stand tall on the basis of your work...don't get distracted by others...make tough decisions & be accountable to them

The rest is far from history...but of that season, I will say this:  I don't remember if Timmy Bosgrove made it back that day, but whether he did or didn't was irrelevant - he played freshman ball...

In the end, only two of us frosh made that 1985-86 JV team (lefty Chris Mullin-clone Mark Popadick was the other).  Apparently that had not happened in some time.  And as a freshman, I started and played every game.  I won every sprint in practice.  I soaked up the coaching and the discipline and the opportunity to play against other city schools, both in the public and catholic leagues.  I learned to enjoy when other teams sought to pressure us, because we would instead calmly and clearly make them pay for their assumptions.  I won the Coaches Award for determination, hustle, team play, all of that...and I cemented friendships with the class above me that remain intact to this day.  It was, in the best possible sense of the word, the beginning...

And yeah...I was a little angry at Coach Butler for not telling me, hey kid, you better come back, you scored off the charts on the fundamental testing...you are making this team.  But - in an early indication of a theme throughout my Canisius experience - the Jesuits teachers and lay-person coaches like Dave Butler treated us like men...and he let me figure it out.  He forced me to think about the consequences of my actions, to do what I had to do, and to trust myself rather than give mind to the prattling of others.  What an invaluable lesson.  And I haven't forgotten it, or its corollaries:  do the work, be humble, try your best, take responsibility for your actions, man up, ignore the crowd, believe in yourself

And that was my introduction to high school basketball.  Thank you, Coach Butler.

That's it for now, sorry for the length if you made it this far... Next up I hope to tackle that freshman-to-sophomore summer and then sophomore season....we'll call that one, the jump.  And I don't even know where to begin with regards to Ray Calhoun's and Luther Winfield's influence on me that summer... it'll be interesting.

Stay in touch,
Ben

Glory Days & Self-Analysis...

Glory Days.  This morning I posted old basketball clippings from my time playing overseas to this very blog.  And this past weekend I posted old basketball photos to Facebook.  I readily admit that these postings represent odd behavior, especially at my age.  And to be honest, they are slightly embarrassing.  I read them as betraying a lingering insecurity.  But - blame the power of the internet - I simply could not help it.  The call of social networking and the appeal of cyber-archiving & cyber-organizing one's life...must stop myself...was just...must hold on...too difficult...must fight urge...to resist.

So here's the "self-analysis" part:  why?

I am not a high school kid trying to bolster my case for popularity or sex appeal:  I am 38 1/2 years old, I am happily married, and we have an amazing newborn daughter.

I am not one-dimensional:  I have been a student, a basketball player, a stock trader, a coach, and a world traveler.

I am not fighting some self-loathing depression born of an uninspired existence:  I have a good job, I stay in decent shape, and I enjoy an all-around terrific quality of life.

But if all that is true, where does this creeping insecurity come from?  Why the need to reflect on old photos and organize archives from the "Glory Days?"  Why does it feel like I am posting my credentials as some kind of evidence of a life well-spent?  Am I trying to convince others, or myself?  And truthfully, years later, who really cares about this nonsense and these old clippings anyway?  And yet while I know no one cares, still I post, and - gasp - may even continue to do so...but why?

Is it possible to be self-aware and delusional at the same time?

Or is it all innocuous...maybe it's just the need to leave a trail for my daughter one day?  Or is it worse...am I trying to still prove myself to myself in some way?  To comfort myself with, look what I have done...it's a full life...so that it's ok to now be settling down, to be acquiescing to what some might call the life of quiet desperation with the house and the kids and the white picket-fence?  Hmmm...

So what's my best guess as to why I post this crap?  Mortality, in part.  Or, more appropriately, athletic mortality.  The end of the road, so to speak, makes me reminisce about the road actually traveled.  That's certainly a big part of it, and that mortality has been creeping up over the last few years:  a knee surgery in 2005, an appendectomy in 2005, a torn Achilles in 2009, marriage, family, career...age.  After 25+ years of feeling relatively "on top of my game" with respect to my chosen sport, I am feeling - and seeing - the downward slide.  I can no longer willfully determine the outcome of a basketball game on my own anymore - I can't "turn it on" and decide what is about to happen.  My presence on a court now is substantially as...filler.  And after 25+ years of being one of the best guys on the team or on the court or in the game, it's hard to overstate what that now feels like.  Castrated is too strong a word.  So is crippledLacking is good, but not quite.  Maybe the best way to explain it is to draw a comparison that almost anyone can relate to:  the aging of a beloved family pet.  When you see that dog, for example, approaching 15 years old and starting to wobble and shake...and you can so clearly remember the puppy days and the jump-all-over-you and the fetch-for-hours and the absolutely-he's-gonna-catch-that days...isn't it just kind of...well...sad?  Do you know the feeling that I am talking about?  Why Dad?  Why can't he be a puppy forever?  Why can't he play anymore?  Why does he have to get old?

And the things that you remind yourself about your beloved, failing dog are the same things I tell myself now about my six-foot-slow-white-guy-body:  it was a good run, he was such a great friend, I couldn't ask for anything more...  Regardless, the sadness remains.  So maybe I post against that creeping mortality.  As if to look age in the eye and say, yeah, you might be winning now...but I owned you back in the dayAnd here's proof.  Of course, this does not get you very far, because you quickly realize that you can't go back and can't catch up and age is winning - will win - and the whole thing ends up being more depressing that when you started.  So let's move on to reason #2. 

Maybe I post old clippings out of some deep-rooted resistance to normalcy.  By bringing past accomplishments back to the light of day, whether athletic or otherwise, it's as if I am listing for myself all the things already checked off the Bucket List.  And that makes it somehow easier to accept my current age and stage in life.  Maybe I am saying, it's ok to slow down now...you did a lot already.  Of course, what's annoying about that reality is that it just doesn't work that way for me.  Instead, I think about how much more I could have, and should have, done.  When I look back, the most frequent question that pops into my head is always a variation of the "youth is wasted on the young" theme:  Did I accomplish enough with the resources I had?  And did I appreciate those resources, and those opportunities, while I had them?  More often than not, unfortunately, the answer is no.  I am not sure why.  And it spirals on itself, it really does.  When I come across an old picture and think back on it, invariably I come to the point at which I desire to be that again.  I want to look like that, play like that, and have that freedom (from material burdens, from responsibility, from expectation, from bills, from career paths, from "normalcy").  And that craving to go back - which is relatively insatiable sometimes - leads me to look at more photos, and reminisce more...and, subsequently, I probably end up posting those images in the hopes that somehow - once added to my "profile" or my "photo album" - the act of posting will make me that person, or more specifically that athlete, again.   And, just as with argument #1, this one is also a losing proposition.  Can't go back, can only move forward.  No help there.  How about #3...

I suppose the third possible reason to post this stuff is that underneath the bitter pill of "time past" and "age" lies the sweet ability to re-live, and perhaps re-experience and re-enjoy, past accomplishments.  I think this is the one I want to build on.  Please know that I am in no way comparing myself or any of my accomplishments to those of Jerry Rice, whom I greatly admire and consider one of the best - along with Walter Payton and Joe Montana - football players of my lifetime.  But this part of his recent Hall of Fame acceptance speech - as quoted by SI's Peter King - stopped me dead in my tracks:


"I'm here to tell you that the fear of failure is the engine that has driven me throughout my entire life. It flies in the faces of all these sports psychologists who say you have to let go of your fears to be successful and that negative thoughts will diminish performance. But not wanting to disappoint my parents, and later my coaches, teammates and fans, is what pushed me to be successful ... The reason nobody caught me from behind is because I ran scared. People are always surprised how insecure I was. But I was always in search of that perfect game, and I never got it. Even if I caught 10 of 12 passes, or two or three touchdowns in the Super Bowl, I would dwell on the one pass I dropped ... If I have one single regret about my career standing here today, it's that I never took the time to enjoy it.''   -- Jerry Rice, in his Hall of Fame speech Saturday night.

I don't know about you, but I found that poignant, and I think a little sad.

I actually get that, I really do.  And it sucks.  As Peter King notes, it is sad.  But in my case, maybe - just maybe - posting the old stuff is a way of reliving it, reframing it, and actually enjoying it.  Maybe I was also driven by fear and failure and I never really enjoyed it all as much as I should have.  And maybe posting about it is a way of going back, Marty McFly style, examining the details, and appreciating it more.  Does that make any sense? 

So...whether I call it insecurity, rampant nostalgia, a push against impending mortality, a means of accepting age and responsibility by reminding myself that I had once "been there" and "done that," or just a way to actually enjoy the past in a way I perhaps never enjoyed in the moment itself...well, I am ok with it all.  And in the name of archives and keeping this stuff fresh before I turn 75 and senility sets in - and maybe even in the name of enjoying it all one more time - I am going to be posting a few stories from my basketball career.  They won't be in order, just random memories, but what the hell.  Maybe it's over indulgent, maybe it's an epitaph.  But I think it will be fun.  And perhaps even cathartic.  (But probably not...) 

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Amherst alum article...

Notables
News  October 14, 2008





Fletcher Walters and Andrew Olson are just two-fifths of the Amherst players in Germa
Amherst's class unlike any other
By Justin Long

Amherst has consistently produced men's basketball student-athletes that have moved on to play at the professional level, and it is becoming more common for Division III athletes to further their playing careers overseas. But all five members of one graduating class signing professional contracts in the same summer? That's unheard of.

The Class of '08 went 111-12 in four years at Amherst, won the program's first national championship in 2007 and made three consecutive Final Four appearances. Just three months after graduating, Andrew Olson, Kevin Hopkins, Fletcher Walters, Matt Goldsmith and Brandon Jones have all signed contracts to play professional basketball in Germany.

While coach Dave Hixon has seen upwards of 25 players go on to play professionally, he says the Class of '08 has broken new ground. “On average, there's probably one guy in each class that has the potential to play professionally,” says the Lord Jeffs' coach of 31 years. “Going 5-for-5 with one class is remarkable. It's unreal.”

For Olson, furthering his basketball career was an easy decision. “Playing basketball has been the real constant in my life, and I didn't want to stop playing competitively just because the NCAA said my four years were up,” says the reigning national player of the year. “I want to say good-bye to the game on my terms.”

The five members of the Class of '08 represent five teams in three leagues, all in Germany. In a preseason scrimmage, Walters (25 points and nine rebounds) led the Iserlohn Kangaroos to a 12-point victory over Olson (22 points and nine assists) and BBV Hagen in a matchup of Regionalliga 1 teams.

“It was really weird playing against Andrew,” says Walters. “We just kept cracking jokes during the game.”

No alum has helped open doors more than Ben Batory, a 1994 graduate. Batory played for six teams in five countries from 1994-98 and has helped to lay the groundwork for several Lord Jeffs. “The young guys reach out to me from time to time for my advice and networking,” says Batory, who advised Walters on how to market himself and helped Hopkins contact coaches in Europe. “It is important to me that guys get to go over there and play ball, but it's also very important that they do so as Amherst students -- as students of life -- and not as jocks. I try to hold the guys to that Amherst standard and have them learn from my experiences.”

But this is far more than just the chance to have one last go-around on the basketball court -- it is the opportunity to begin a new chapter of life. Goldsmith has already secured an internship with a German consulting firm, Kon.m, courtesy of his new team, TV Werne. “This is going to be one of the most valuable life experiences I will ever have,” says Goldsmith, who had 15 points and eight rebounds in his team's second scrimmage. “To have my friends so close to me is icing on the cake. Every young kid who plays basketball wishes that one day he can play professionally, and all of us are getting to do it.”

Despite the players' early success, being overseas has come with a price. “Leaving the people I care about back home has probably been one of the hardest things I have done in a long time,” says Jones, “but I don't think I could have passed up an opportunity like this in good conscience.”

“The opportunity to continue my basketball career has been a roller coaster thus far,” adds Walters. “The last month has been a huge test of my perseverance. During the end of the first week, I received news that my grandfather passed away from pneumonia. He was my sports idol and a huge hero of mine. It meant so much to me to follow my grandfather's footsteps and sign a professional sports contract.” (Walters' grandfather played for the Cleveland Indians and the Kansas City Athletics in the 1950s.)

The hardships that come with being away from home make it that much more important to appreciate such an experience -- another of Batory's lessons. “I told the guys to use their time overseas and to make it about more than just basketball,” says Batory. “They'll draw on this experience the rest of their lives, so they need to make the most of it.”

“We are all very blessed to be playing in the same country,” says Jones. “I definitely feel like we are in divine favor with the way basketball has worked out since we've been a part of each others' lives.”

“I could not imagine or plan out a better situation than what we all have in front of us this year,” says Olson. “And it's not so bad to get paid for something that you have always played for fun.”

Hixon will undoubtedly miss his most recent graduating class, as a group of guys so talented comes around maybe once in a coach's lifetime. Still, those who were fortunate enough to watch Olson toss 50-foot alley-oops and make no-look passes to Goldsmith, Hopkins, Jones and Walters can rest easy knowing these classmates are still doing what they love to do most.

More importantly, they're doing it together.

Justin Long is Amherst's assistant sports information director.
Permalink | Oct 14, 2008