More on Miami driving...

So if you didn't believe the speculative part in my last Miami rant about people keeping quiet for fear of violence from other drivers, check this out:  http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2009-11-05/news/miami-parking-nightmare-from-the-homeless-parking-mafia-to-the-meter-fairy/1.  There are also some great parking ticket & towing nightmares in there.  And to answer before it's asked, yes...we have had our car towed.  Brielle ran into the dry-cleaner for 30 seconds, and a "spotter" (a guy who gets kickbacks from the towing companies on Miami Beach) called in the Jeep.  When Brielle came out, it was on its way to the impound yard... 

Also, I have some additions to my earlier rant... things I need to add to the record in the interest of being thorough in my critique of Miami drivers.  First, Miami absolutely leads the league with "most drivers who swerve the opposite way before making a turn."  Who taught these people how to drive?  For example, imagine a two-lane street, and you are in the left lane.  There's a car to your right, and it slows to make a right hand turn.  As it slows, it will also swing wide into your lane to make the right hand turn!  What the hell?  As a result of this consistent behavior among Miami drivers, I am sometimes forced - as the naive guy assuming all is well and I can just continue straight on my way - to violently swerve left to avoid the guy next to me turning right and vice versa.  Is it me, or is that just crazy?  Second, I referenced roughly 75% of people on Miami roads also talking on cell phones or texting while driving.  Here's an odd corollary to that overall estimate:  at 7:30am, on the way to the office, this number only drops to about 60%.  Consider that for a second... Who the hell are you speaking to at 7:30am?!  And believe me when I tell you...the body language indicates these are not quick ten second "Honey, I forgot to grab the dry-cleaning" calls.  These are clearly lengthy (at least a few minutes or over a half-mile or so of side-by-side traffic), slumped-down-in-the-seat, laughing and gossiping and chatting away, "shooting the breeze" conversations.  Again, who does that at the crack of dawn?!  Finally, let me touch on perhaps the biggest omission from my earlier rant.  This one drives me particularly insane.  For some reason, drivers making a turn against oncoming traffic do not inch up into an interesection while waiting for an opening.  No, cars typically sit behind the traffic light/line while waiting to make their turn.  The net result is that one car typically makes a turn per light!  Elsewhere, people creep up and 3-4 cars make the turn, especially as the light turns yellow.  What is the deal with that?  Where does this behavior originate?  It is absolutely infuriating to be behind someone trying to make a left-hand turn, having that person sit and wait behind the lines, and then be the lone car to make the turn as the light turns yellow.  Think about that one for a second and do that math.  Yes, this means you typically wait three lights to make the turn if you are the third car.  As always, especially when it comes to driving in this town, WTF??!!