Monday, November 29, 2010

What the Buffalo Bills can teach us about the U.S. economy + more Miami...

Economic lessons from the 2010 Buffalo Bills...

Here's a little-known secret that may irreparably damage my reputation for some readers:  I am a closet Buffalo Bills fan.  I don't want to be, believe me.  But I must be, because each Sunday I find myself just a bit more interested in the Bills score than the others.  I assume it's a remnant from my time growing up in Buffalo - a leftover feeling of camaraderie and hope from watching a horrible early 80's team (Joe Ferguson, really?) develop over time (#1 pick in '85: Bruce Smith, the addition of Jim Kelly at QB, the 2nd round pick of Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed, etc.) into the early 90's juggernaut that, although it lost four straight Superbowls, still managed to get there each year.  I suppose there's a loyalty that is built up over time when you watch something grow and develop, as I watched the 1984 to 1994 Bills, and you find yourself emotionally involved.

This brings me to the present day Buffalo Bills.  They are 2-9.  Terrible by all accounts.  And, unlucky to boot - they've lost three overtime games this year already.  But do you know what?  I love this team.  I would pay money - if I still lived in Buffalo - to watch this scrappy bunch of no names take elite teams like Baltimore and Pittsburgh to the brink.  They have chemistry, they have grit, and they have hunger...and if management was smart, they would build around those intangibles as a foundation for something real.  Keep Fitzpatrick as QB - the players love him, he's a gunslinger with balls and big heart - rather than give into the temptation to go for the glamor QB pick in the draft.  Don't touch the skill positions - high character and class act Fred Jackson should never have been on the bench at all this year, shame on management for essentially discriminating against a small school player in favor of a guy like Marshawn Lynch....and you are set with WRs Lee Evans, Steve Johnson, Roscoe Parrish, and RB CJ Spiller as potential game breakers.  Don't touch the secondary - there are some young, skilled studs back there.  Instead, focus on the foundational, no-headline-grabbing drafting of offensive and defensive linemen...build around guys like Eric Wood and Kyle Williams and add depth to the core, trench areas that ultimately determine wins and losses. 

Ok, so how does any of this relate to the U.S. economy, you ask?  Last year's Bills - the 2009 version - were awful (just like the 2008-2009 U.S. economy), and it was clear to anyone objective that they needed line help (aka, nuts-and-bolts foundational stuff...like jobs to the U.S. economy).  But instead, the Bills management (aka, the Federal Reserve?) made the decision to pursue a short-term "headline-grabbing" fix (aka, artificial stimulus) and signed wideout Terrell Owens in order to sell a few more season tickets rather than address their more important, long-term needs.  Owens, of course, proved to be not much more than a one-and-done bust, along with the very weak 2009 incumbent QB Trent Edwards (aka, Tim Geithner?  anyone, anyone...?)

So what's the lesson?  Well, the 2009 Bills got nothing out of their artificial stimulus injection (Owens), much like the true, underlying U.S. economy got from its injection.  This year, however, the analogy diverges.  The 2010 Bills cut their dead weight (Edwards) and decided to let their down cycle run its course (much like a recession should be allowed to run its natural course) and along the way have actually built character and chemistry through hard, gritty play and effort.  Conversely, the 2010 now-highly-politicized Federal Reserve decided to once again forgo addressing foundational issues in the U.S. economy (massive debt, jobs) and are going for the short-term, glamorous, headline-grabbing fix (aka, Quantitative Easing 2).  And much like last year's Bills artificial Owens injection, it's pretty clear to me that this year's Fed QE2 artificial injection will have similar one-and-done results.

In short, this year's Bills team is bouncing back from a rough patch all on its own - the spark is there, the chemistry is there.  It's palpable, and they should be applauded.

But this year's Federal Reserve is unfortunately going the way of the 2009 Bills - laden with an egotistical superstar (QE2) who distracts the mob from the real issues at hand for only a short while before they resurface again.  Caveat Emptor, folks.  The Fed could learn something valuable from this scrappy Bills team:  recession (aka, rebuilding) takes time and is not a dirty word to be avoided.  In fact, it can sow the seeds for greatness for years to come, just like the 1984-1985 Bills.  Are you listening, Bernanke?  It's Ryan Fitzpatrick on the line...and he's asking you to grow a pair. 


More Miami driving... 

My Dad taught me an important lesson about basketball referees when I was younger.  "Good refs or bad refs don't really matter much," he explained.  "It's the inconsistent refs who are most dangerous."  His point was that players can adjust to a referee who makes consistently good calls or consistently bad calls...and to the referee who makes consistently tight calls or instead lets the ticky-tack stuff go.  But a referee who is inconstent - good, then bad...tight, then loose - can ruin a game.

Which brings me to my most recent rant about Miami driving:  Miami drivers are notoriously inconsistent, and it drives me consistently crazy. 

Inconsistency #1:  On surface roads (local streets), Miami drivers routinely crawl along at a snail's pace.  No rush, no stress, clearly no friggin' job - or anything else important - to get to.  As I have written before, a Miami driver rarely goes at a green light until a count of "one-mississippi...two-mississippi" has passed.  90% of the time I will honk at the guy ahead of me at a green light because the person is busy texting, or talking on the phone, or finishing off that coffee, or actually (I am not kidding) reading the paper while driving.  So you could safely argue that Miami drivers are slow, sluggish, and unresponsive on surface roads.  However, please explain why those very same drivers become Evel-freakin-Knievel as soon at they enter the highway, especially I-95 (just named the most dangerous road in America, btw.)

Look, I am a pretty fast driver at times, but I am generally efficient and safe (knock wood!)  But I-95 scares the bejeezus out of me.  As soon as I slow to 70mph (from 75mph, let's say) behind a slow-moving truck or someone that I need to pass, people whizz around me on both sides at ~90mph so that I can't actually change lanes.  And usually, when these people buzz past (and they do "buzz" past - the lanes are notoriously narrow on I-95...hmmm, maybe there's a correlation between that fact and the mortality rate on this road, eh Miami?), they are also either on the phone or texting at the same time.  WTF?  Seriously, WTF?

So how can the same folks who fall asleep at green lights on surface roads also become speed-racing, texting psychopaths on the expressway?  Miami, pay attention please:  just like in basketball refereeing, inconsistency kills...

Inconsistency #2:  I have written about the innate laziness of the Miami driver before.  For example, it must simply be too taxing - too damn hard - for people to actually flick their wrist and click that turn signal to indicate that they are changing lanes or suddenly slamming on the brakes and making a turn.  I know, that seems like a lot to ask!  In the routine course of daily driving, people never seem to use turn signals when they would be of actual benefit to the broader public.  Instead, a level of "driving ESP' is required:  hmmm, is that guy pausing a touch...I dunno, I don't like the looks of his swerving....I think he's a sudden-turn candidate...CON-SONAR...CRAZY IVAN!  (Which way did he turn, Jonesy?  To the starboard, sir!!)  Anyway, the lack of turn-signaling leaves you constantly guessing on Miami roads.

Except for this amazing discovery...when a road naturally curves to the right or the left - meaning there is no choice on which way to go - do you know what Miami drivers will do?  Yes, they will put on their turn signal!!  WTF?  Aaaaarrrrrrghhhhh.  I mean, just shoot me.  Why the hell would you indicate that you are turning when we all know you are turning because the road is actually going that way and we are all turning too?!  Folks, if I sound a little distraught, it's because this stuff is enough to drive a person insane.  Or maybe it already has.  And bear in mind, I am not talking about one isolated incident here - I am telling you that I have seen it over and over and over.  And given that 70% of Miami is Hispanic, I really think someone with driving experience in Cuba or South America needs to tell me the origin of all this senseless inconsistency.  I just don't get it...


More Miami Heat...

Headed to the Heat-Wizards game tonight, and we'll see if anything has changed since my last visit (Heat-Celtics).  I wrote back in July that the Heat would start 10-10 on the year, and I think they are 9-7 to this point, so clearly I will be routing for the Wizards tonight!

I caught a Chris Bosh post-game interview the other night (I think it was after Friday night's Sixers game) and I have to admit I genuinely like Bosh.  I mean, who the hell ever knows the truth behind these things, but I get the sense that he's a good dude and a likable guy.  (Unlike Wade and LeBron, who I think are probably behind-the-scenes @ssholes, to be honest.) 

Anyway, despite my feelings for Bosh, he said something so colossally stupid that I thought someone should have been fired over it.  He told the sideline reporter (a ridiculous homer named Jason Jackson - just my opinion) that - and I am paraphrasing here - the Heat would be fine as long as he, Wade, and James just did the same stuff this year that they all did separately on different teams last year.  Something like "as long as we do what we each did last year, we'll be fine."  Whaaaaat?  Chris, how ignorant are you?  And how bad is Miami's coaching or managing if this message is being conveyed?  How bad must things be if Bosh is also speaking for his teammates, and if they really all feel that excelling individually just like last year is the ticket to Miami's success this year?  Folks, that's moronic.  He advocated the construct of three superstars playing like individuals and then expecting a team to sprout out of it.  Where is the team concept?  Where is the buy-in from the stars?  Where is the humility and the admission that these guys need to be flexible and feel each other out and even make some sacrifices along the way in order to arrive at something where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts?  (Pssst, Chris....here's a hint:  that's the definition of a team)

Look, I have beaten the Heat dead-horse enough at this point, but I have to say that if the message from Heat management down to Heat coaches and down to Heat stars and down to Heat players is "just do what you did as individuals last year and we'll be fine," then the Miami Heat are in much, much bigger trouble than anyone might have thought.  That attitude needs to be re-framed, in a big way.  When stars come together, sacrifices are needed - someone has to take the charges, someone has to make the extra pass, someone has to box out...and it can't just be the two other role players on the court at the time.

We'll see how it looks tonight, but after Bosh's comments the other day, I remain a non-believer... In fact, the Miami Tepid jokes are too obvious at this point.  Let's get classical instead and just go with the Miami Hubris.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Seriously? That's just pathetic, Miami...

In case you didn't see my review of last Thursday's Heat-Celtics game, I took the Heat to task for being terrible (deservedly) and took the Heat fans to task for being clueless (maybe a bit harshly).  Well, apparently the Heat organization also has some issues with their fans, and maybe my assessment was more accurate and less jaded than I originally thought.  Apparently the Heat fans need to be taught how to actually...be fans.  Has this ever been done before?  Has an organization ever printed a "how to" primer and also posted an accompanying video?  I mean, that's embarrassing!  And don't take my word for it...check it out yourself.  Below, see the aforementioned "Fan Up, Miami" (aka, How to be a fan at an NBA game, you clueless bozos) print out:


Maybe next year's version will include definitions of boxing out, weak side defense, taking a charge, the "pass that leads to an assist," and working the shot clock...not to mention important discussion topics like "when to boo when your superstars take terrible shots," why millionaire ballplayers - even the bench guys - should hit open 15-footers, "when to boo when your other superstar dribbles 100 times at halfcourt while no one else moves," "when to boo when your big money power forward gets dunked on by a point guard," and of course "when to boo when your superstar whines about getting fouled, does not run back on D, and his man hits another wide-open spot-up three."  Oh, and they might also want to offer a fan seminar on "how not to be fooled by fancy dunks and trick passes - especially those that continually lead to unforced turnovers - because there are no style points in basketball."  Miami's NBA action...er...um...amazing kinda happens here...(!!)...pssst, what time is our dinner reservation on South Beach?  We gotta leave early...

Friday, November 12, 2010

Quick thoughts on Heat-Celts from a LeHater...

So I went to my first Heat game of the "Big Three" season last night...and pretty much cackled my way through it.  My thoughts on the evening are below.  Note that I have not read anything about the game as yet this morning, because I want my views to be original and "untainted"...and then we'll see how it matches up with the experts.

Truth be told, I am not really a LeHater at all.  It's a free country.  The guy can sign and play wherever he likes, and he is one heck of a athlete.  Of course, in this age of media hype, it's sometimes hard to remember that he really hasn't done or won anything, and that he is probably much, much, much less "mentally tough" than all his supposed comparisons, like Magic, MJ, Bird, Kobe, and even The Durantula and DWade.  But, whatever...I can easily put my disappointment in LeBron's "decision" (aka, the signature, pariah moment representative of all the frustrations we have with today's spoiled, me-first, who-cares-if-we-win-I-have-a-sneaker-contract-anyway, professional athletes) aside and just try to enjoy the game.  After all, the potential for take-your-breath-away moments is off the charts with the 2010-2011 Miami Heat, right?  So, rather than focus on LeBron and the whole Big Three distraction, let's just pretend to block out names and faces and storylines and think about last night's contest as between the home team in white and the visiting team in green.  In other words, let's just focus on the basketball.

However, when you do that - when you try to put aside the personalities and the noise and the media hype - here's what you are unfortunately left with (last night, anyway):  terrible, terrible basketball.  The contrast in the teams was striking.  Over and over again the Celtics would move the ball, work the shot clock, make the extra pass, and get great shots.  And in response on the other end, time and time again, the Heat (invariably either LeBron or Wade) would respond with a rushed, off the mark, terrible shot about five seconds into the shot clock.  Just when you'd think, "ok, the Heat are veterans...they will play off one another and try to do what the Celtics did and try to match them pass for pass and execution for execution," the Heat would come down and do something rushed or boneheaded or just...amateur.  It was actually embarrassing and a little uncomfortable.  I am not kidding.  To respond to the Celtics "swing the ball around the horn, final gorgeous touch pass to a cutting guy for a lay-up and the ball never hit the ground once" with the Heat's "dribble dribble dribble one on one move shoot" was just pathetic.  And it happened far too often.  What were these guys thinking?

Anyway, that's the real disappointment here - it's that the Heat are actually playing crappy ball.  Uninspired, I-have-no-idea-how-to-play, there's-no-leadership-at-all basketball.  I know LeBron and Wade are more than capable of amazing things, and I assume the 4th quarter had its moments since the game ended with a much closer score than when we left at the end of the 3rd.  That ability to explode is what will ultimately make them fun to watch sometimes and dangerous to play all the time.  But it just so happens that the moments in between are just...awful.  I saw turnovers, air balls, and forced shots that looked like they were out of 6th grade CYO.  Again, what are these guys thinking?

I guess I just assumed that I would hate the ballers but really respect the beautiful game they played.  But if last night is any indication, we may be left with hating the ballers and hating their game.  What a waste that would be.  Hey, I expected growing pains.  I wrote about it in July and even predicted a 10-10 start to the season.  (They're 5-4 as of writing.)  As we know, All-Star games are not usually flowing, beautiful events with tons of team chemistry.  And Miami's starting five is now basically an All-Star team.  It's hard to mesh those styles and egos, for sure.  But I never expected them to look like they had never played the game before.  I never expected them to be terrible. 

Granted, I am also putting a major microscope on one game...and it's very early into the season.  I understand that my commentary should be set against that backdrop and that you shouldn't expect to derive too much accuracy from a sample size of one.  But it was also a nationally-televised game against the team that beat the Heat in the opening game of the season, and it was at home.  In other words, it was a "statement game" nonetheless.  "Players" show up for that game.  Big Time.  I expected a statement from supposed "all-World" guys like Wade and LeBron.  But the only statement those guys seemed to be making was "what time is our reservation for dinner on South Beach tonight?"  And on the other side of the court, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo made a few statements of their own.  To whit:  "We made our own 'Decision.' The decision to be the alpha dogs on the east coast.  So sit down and shut up."  Good for them.  The bottom line is that they played harder, better, and smarter.  They deserved to win, and they exposed the Miami Heat as the bunch of independent, selfish, frauds...at least at this point in the season.  From a purist standpoint, I would love to watch some good basketball down here, rather than a glorified "And 1" pick-up game.  So I hope the Heat get it together, I really do. 

Let's also talk about the Miami crowd for a second.  I have nothing against the beautiful people and celebrities who are now descending on Miami to bear "Quitness" to the Big Three and the non-existent Twelve.  After all, it's high entertainment and the buzz in the air is very cool.  (Although you can feel the buzz evaporating from the area faster than it left the mosquito splattered on your windshield.)  But I do have a bone to pick.  In my opinion, the best crowds are knowledgeable crowds, and I also feel that there's a give-and-take between player and spectator in those optimal environments.  Meaning:  the best crowds actually "participate" in the game at times, and don't just consume the action as pure spectators.  This is classic Madison Square Garden when the team is good.  Actually, even when the teams are bad in NYC, the crowd participates.  Miami falls down flat in that department.

Here's a prime example of what I mean:   At one point in the 2nd quarter, DWade drove to the bucket and missed a pretty difficult and pretty well-defended twisting lay-up attempt.  When the ref didn't bail him out (remember the 2006 Finals, btw?  DWade got more calls than a stripper walking by a construction site), he made a few dramatic gestures (but avoided a "T") toward the ref and hung around the basket for a few seconds to bitch and moan.  Of course, the Celtics corralled the rebound, pitched the outlet to Rajon Rondo, and sprinted down the court.  Rondo found Ray Allen (Wade's defensive responsibility) spotting up, hit him in stride, and Allen drained a three.  It all happened in about 2.7 seconds.  Predictably, the crowd groaned and someone nearby said "damn, Ray Allen is killing us."  No...incorrect, sir.  It's not Ray Allen killing you.  Right there, on that play, DWade was killing you.  In fact, I could almost imagine the response if the game were in NYC and DWade played for the Knicks.  I could almost hear the hypothetical Knick fan a few feet down from me with the Brooklyn accent yell out "Yo, DWade...howzabout you stop bitchin' and run back on friggin' D you friggin' pansy...you guy Allen is killin' us...howzabout you sprint back and guard him in transition?!"  See, that's the difference.  That's what I mean by knowledge and "participation."  Not to mention accountability.  Miami fans love the pretty dunks and the fast break lay-ups, but they don't seem to appreciate the development of a play, or the little stuff away from the ball that actually makes the game what it is.  It's a shame.  Hopefully they get there some day.  After all, this team could use a few more people getting in the face of these supposed "untouchable" Big Three superstars.  They could use to be dressed-down by the fans now and again.  If they just only knew how and when...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Dear Visitor to Miami: The Follow-Up...

So here's some interesting timing...right after I posted my "Guide to Miami" the other day, two similar items caught my eye.  The first (published one day after mine) is from the Wall Street Journal called "An Insider's Guide to Miami," and you'll find some interesting overlap. The second (published three days after mine) is from ESPN and mentions a particular Miami steakhouse that I also "reviewed."  The full text of both is below. (Gives me some credibility, right? ...right?)

Castles in the Sand


[CONCIERGE] 
Red Light in the Blu Motel offers excellent dockside manatee-watching.

Ever since savvy developers began turning this riverside farmland into a millionaire's playground (and middle-class dream destination) in the 1920s, Miami has been equally built on style and scam. It's become a tradition for strivers and refugees arriving here to reinvent themselves—and, in the process, reinvent the city.
Miami is elastic, always retaking its shape, whether in the wake of the 1926 hurricane that flattened its beaches, or the "Scarface" era of cocaine violence in the early 1980s. The city would have to wait another decade before the South Beach renaissance would transform a tropical war zone into a hipster paradise.

[SB10001424052748703805704575594663896111450]
The Standard Spa, Miami Beach
In Miami's latest reincarnation, artists have migrated from an increasingly out-priced South Beach to cheaper spaces across Biscayne Bay, reinvigorating mainland neighborhoods walloped by the condo bust and financial downturn. The annual carnival of art and money that is Art Basel Miami Beach (playing out across the city Dec. 2-5) is just the high point of a cultural scene that's remaking the peninsula yet again.
South Beach as buzz destination has largely been supplanted by areas like the Design District and MiMo (for '50s and '60s Miami Modern, the ongoing architectural vogue), filled with restaurants both haute and homey, as well as plenty of funky boutiques and clubs.
The Wynwood area plays home to sleek galleries and warehouse walls exploding with graffiti murals. Further south, there are more cultural nuclei in Little Havana, where nostalgia-chic clubs and galleries such as Hoy Como Ayer and Cuba Ocho vibrate with rhythms from new and old exiles. In North Miami, artist studios and independent galleries—as well as thrift stores and Caribbean markets—orbit the Museum of Contemporary Art.
Cubans may still be the largest and most visible group among the 69% of the city that is Hispanic, but more recent influxes of Colombians, Venezuelans, Argentines and Brazilians have brought new flavors and
dramas, as well as new candidates to soak up this city—and then rebuild it from scratch.
—Jordan Levin
The Restaurateur
[Miami concierge]
Michelle Bernstein
James Beard Award winner and co-owner of restaurants Michy's on the Biscayne corridor and Sra. Martinez in the Design District
Southern Fish Camp: Red Light in the Blu Motel. This two-year-old cafe has a great late-night menu, including wahoo fish dip and burgers, and an intimate bar scene. Excellent dockside manatee-watching. 7700 Biscayne Blvd., edlightmiami.com
Catch of the Day: Garcia's Seafood Grille & Fish Market. Just pure sepia-tone Florida, and it's Cuban, too. You can dock your boat, jump out and have a fab meal. Everything is super simple, fried or grilled. I love the caramel-y sweet fried plantains with grilled lobster. 398 N.W. North River Drive, garciasseafoodgrill.com
China Grill: Hakkasan. Every Jewish girl loves Chinese, and this place is my go-to. They have Maine lobster with chive blossoms and they make their own tofu. It's inside the Fontainebleau. 4441 Collins Ave., hakkasan.com/miami
Fine Dining-in-Residence: Casa Tua. It's a vine-covered mansion that feels like it's in the Mediterranean. Talk about sexy and romantic—it's like eating in a luxe, secluded private home with a courtyard. 1700 James Ave., casatualifestyle.com
Teen-and-Mom Shop: Rebel.This shop is really fun. You can get something super sexy or more covered up. They sell pieces by hip clothing lines and local designers. 6669 Biscayne Blvd., 305-758-2369
The Connoisseur
[Miami concierge]
Mitchell "Micky" Wolfson Jr.
Art and design collector; founder of The Wolfsonian-Florida International University Museum
Garage Sale: Carol Jazzar Contemporary Art. This independent curator's gallery, housed in the owner's garage has audacity, style, intelligence and it's not so easy to find, which makes it fun. 158 N.W. 91st St., cjazzart.com
Embarrassment of Riches: Las Tias. All of the opulent design and home accessory treasures of the former oligarchs' palaces seem to end up for sale at the baroque emporium co-owned by real estate agent and social diva Esther Percal. 2834 North Miami Ave., lastias.com
Diva Needs: C. Madeleine's. No longer Miami's best-kept fashion secret, this 10,000-square-foot designer vintage store draws the likes of ladies Madonna and Gaga. 13702 Biscayne Blvd., cmadeleines.com
Poseidon Adventure: Stoneage Antiques. An ocean's worth of deep-sea nautical curios and other memorabilia, from diving helmets and cannons to sleigh bells and stuffed polar bears. A Mad-Hatter's wonderland. 3236 N.W. South River Drive, stoneage-antiques.com
Puppet Mastery: Pablo Cano Studio & Gallery. Artist Pablo is a genius of fantasy, known for his charming and huge marionettes that would give Julie Taymor pause.Address by request, canoart.com
The Writer
[Miami concierge]
Edwidge Danticat
MacArthur "Genius" Award–winning author of "Brother, I'm Dying"; Miami resident
Bakery and Cafe: Buena Vista Bistro. They specialize in classic French fare. You can have a meeting here, or just breakfast with the girls. Its owners give my daughters free Madeleines. 4582 N.E. Second Ave., buenavistabistro.com
Designer Treasures: Angel's Vintage Boutique. A mother-daughter team scour estate sales in Florida and beyond to pack this funky little shop with archival designer wear (think '60s Chanel frocks). 4308 N.E. Second Ave., 305-573-4308
Voudou Culture: Libreri Mapou. Jan Mapou's Little Haiti landmark is a true cultural center, selling Haitian books, music and beaded voodoo flags. The scene vibrates with live drumming and poetry readings. 5919 N.E. 2nd Ave., librerimapou.com
Haiti Haven: Tap Tap. This little hangout has great ambiance and extraordinary murals on the walls. I love the Erzulie room, presided over by the Haitian goddess of love. The rum punch and kremas (a sweet, lethal cream liquor) are exceptional. 819 Fifth St., taptaprestaurant.com
Story Villa: Books & Books in Coral Gables. This is one of the country's leading independent bookstores: a hub for Miami literati, with readings almost nightly, and an airy courtyard restaurant. 265 Aragon Ave., booksandbooks.com
The Collector
Art patron, gallerist and co-founder (with husband Carlos de la Cruz) of the De La Cruz Collection Contemporary Art Space in Miami
Glass Menagerie: Fratelli Lyon. You eat surrounded by design at this Italian restaurant with sleek, bright, hyper-contemporary décor, in a glass bubble filled with top Italian wares from companies like Driade, Vitra and Maxalto. The furniture is always the latest. 4141 N.E. Second Ave., fratellilyon.com
Real Deal: Michael's Genuine Food & Drink. Michael Schwartz's restaurant offers unexpected takes on American fare. The desserts, in particular, are mouth-boggling puzzles of flavor. 130 N.E. 40th St., michaelsgenuine.com
Cuban Classic: Puerto Sagua. The simple family-style eatery has nourished Cuba nostalgists since opening in 1968. Check out the Scull Sisters' whimsical sculpted 3-D mural of Havana in the day. 700 Collins Ave., 305-673-1115
Art and Sole: Christian Louboutin. An intricate installation of colored stockings guards the entry to one of the Design District's latest boutiques. 155 N.E. 40th St., christianlouboutin.com
Basel Tops: Marni. Art world denizens come straight from the airport to shop at this outpost from the family-owned, high-fashion store. Art Basel is practically a Marni runway show. 3930 N.E. Second Ave., marni-international.com



ESPN.com: Page 2

Monday, November 8, 2010
Red, The Steakhouse, attracts LeBron, D-Wade


Red, The Steakhouse
If you're in Miami and hoping to sneak a peek at the Heat off the court, try Red, The Steakhouse, in South Beach, which has been a favorite eatery for Dwyane Wade and LeBron James.
The upscale steakhouse, which opened in 2009 and is an offshoot of the original Red, The Steakhouse, in suburban Cleveland, made it to Miami before LeBron, but James' move to the Heat hasn't hurt.
"LeBron was into the Red in Cleveland, but has been to the Miami Red more frequently," said Peter Vauthy, who is executive chef and one of the proprietors of Red.
Though the Cleveland location was a go-to spot for James, there haven't been any negative aftershocks because, Vauthy said, the Ohio location isn't near the Cavaliers' arena.
Red's shrimp carbonara pasta and chicken is a LeBron favorite. Meat eaters can follow the lead of Wade, who likes the C.A.B. prime steaks, Kobe beef, pastas, seafood and fresh lemonade.
"Since we opened, at least 30 different times we've had members of the Heat in Red, along with many current and former NBA players," Vauthy said.
Wade has been a regular since the restaurant opened. Chris Paul, Paul Pierce, Rajon Rondo, Hedo Turkoglu, Rudy Gay and Shaquille O'Neal have also sampled the fare.
Players can be difficult to spot because they often eat in a VIP section behind drawn curtains. They also usually arrive after normal dinner hours.
When Wade walks into the restaurant, "Everyone [gets] a bit starstruck and you could see the guests at the restaurant buzzing about it," Vauthy said.
The restaurant, which is owned in part by former NBA player Charles Oakley, is also frequented by NFL and NHL players. As the Heat's season gets into full swing, Vauthy anticipates an uptick.
"I'm sure we'll see an upswing due to the buzz and personality of having LeBron as one of our guests," he said.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Dear Visitor to Miami: It's just easier this way...

It's amazing what happens when you live in a tourist destination.  People ask for advice about where to stay, what to do, and where to eat ...all..the...time.  This happened in New York City too, but I assume that most visitors to The City have more than one New York friend, so the volume of requests I got was never too overbearing.  But Miami?  Wow.  Based on the yearly peppering of questions (usually more when it's winter up north, 'tis the season for getaways...), I am truly flattered that people value my opinion so highly.  Either that, or they just don't know anyone else.  Hell, I don't value my own opinion that much, so it's surely the latter.  Regardless, it gets redundant to keep typing these emails in response to inbound Miami/South Beach visitors.  So, I thought it might be easier for all involved (actually, that's a lie...it's only easier for me) if I jotted down the main ideas and suggestions, and then directed people to this page.  Also, I recommend that visitors check out Miami New Times for great reviews and updates on what's going on in town.  (Search their "Best Of..." section for mainstream stuff like "Best Spa in Miami" or random stuff like "Best Buffalo Wings in Miami."  The archive goes back years and it's awesome - I use it all the time.)

With that said, here are a couple of key disclosures before we dig in.  First and foremost, Brielle and I have a five-month old daughter... if you do the math, that means that it has been nine months of pregnancy and almost six months of actual baby responsibility (i.e. one year and three months) since we have gone out!!  (Actually, that is only partly true - we are beginning to "re-emerge," but in a much more chilled out, early night, light bites kind of way.)  Second caveat:  Brielle has always been generally "cooler" than me, so keep that in mind while you read.  This means that you won't find any answers to "what's the best nightclub at 5am?" questions here.  And now that I think about it, I hope she doesn't know the answer to that either.  But the difference is, she has a friend she can ask that question of...and I certainly don't.  And third, ummm, I am almost 39.  So, again, the "all-nighters, binge-drinking, dance-on-tables" questions are better suited for someone else.  Four...As a New Yorker, I basically scoffed at anything involving Times Square.  I saw it as a Tourist Trap, in capital letters.  In fact, traps abound all over Manhattan and the locals know this and would probably agree.  And, truth be told, South Beach = Times Square.  Meaning, I can partake in it, but I am not a huge fan.  So most of my recommendations will be slightly-off-center or non-mainstream to begin with, although I will try to comment on some of those "big name" spots as well.  Fifth, I will unfortunately limit myself (most of the time) to places I have firsthand experience with for all my recommendations, so I'm sorry if you don't find The Delano Hotel or The Lowes reviewed here (for example).  I mean, we live here - when would I ever stay at the Delano?  But if I have some experience with the place, or a friend stayed there or ate there, that's fair game and I will comment but please don't assume it's the gospel truth since my experience will only be in passing.  Sixth...if you don't know me, I have done a fair amount of traveling (check the other blog on the right of this page somewhere) and I have a tendency toward more tried-and-true local stuff, rather than hot-and-trendy flash-in-the-pan stuff.  Oh, and last one...since 50% of the people who ask me for advice are dudes coming down for a "guy's weekend" or a bachelor party, I might mention the...er...scenery (aka, women) every now and again.  So if you are reading this and you are my wife, or if you are just female, please don't shoot the messenger.  I am not a misogynist, I am just playing the averages with who will be reading this blog... Ok, cool?  All set with the warnings?  Here we go.

Mainstream Hotels:

The Betsy Hotel - I am sucker for the boutique, small luxury hotel experience, and the Besty fits the bill.  Amazing location, across the street from the beach with only a tree-lined park separating you from the dunes...classy bar area...great steakhouse (BLT) within...great "nightclub" (B Bar)...great rooftop...walking distance to everything, so leave the car rental at the airport...best breakfast on SoBe is next door at The Front Porch...and we have a hook-up at the hotel if you need one.  Solid choice for everyone, but more classy and staid than your normal "South Beach parrrr-tay" spot.  Perfect call for you if you are 35 and have taste. 

The Sagamore - A little hipper and "loungier" than the Betsy, but also small and intimate...stayed there a couple years ago when we were actually still New Yorkers...another "boutique"-type place...classy, nice rooms...small, "loungey" pool area...a great call if you are 25, but a bit more sophisticated, or you're 30.  Or 35-40 and hip.  And you can walk to everything. 
Fountainbleau - A sprawling, huge hotel....I have never stayed but I have oft-visited...looks to me like there is something for everyone...done in true "over-the-top" Vegas fashion, so it's just too much for me to take in...but they have great deals sometimes since they have so many rooms, and there are a bunch of pools, restaurants (Blade, Hakkasan, Scarpetta) and clubs (LIV) inside the place...but bear in mind that it's up the beach a bit - 44th and Collins - and you'll need to taxi down to South Beach proper if you plan on eating anywhere but the hotel itself.  Since it's so huge, and there are so many options in terms of places to eat, I am guessing that it works for kids right up to the geriatric.  But it's overkill for me.  Too much.

The Gansevoort - Classy 25-40 year-old chill vibe...STK restaurant in-house, and the Plunge rooftop "nightclub" and pool is great...Also there's one of the nicest pools in SoBe on the 3rd floor that is better suited for families than the Plunge pool - we met friends for lunch there...it's a huge, wide pool with endless views, no trendy nonsense but a fair share of "beautiful people."  24th and Collins, so it's a bit north of the "action" but still an easy cab ride or walk.

The W - 23rd and Collins...park my bike here every Sunday when I ride over and then run the beach...Boasts Mr. Chow, the Wall Bar, the Living Room Bar, and a new Spanish tapas place that is legit but might not be able to compete with Mr. Chow (unfortunately)...hopping pool scene and always busy (people using Starwood points, maybe?), and be forewarned - I consider myself a reasonably attractive and fit guy, and my wife is very attractive and fit, but I felt like an overweight, pale, old schlub at the pool a few weeks back.  So if you are sensitive in that way, this might not be the spot to let it hang loose.  Beautiful people only.  (Although maybe it was just over the Columbus Day wknd?)  Anyway, I told Brielle that I don't ever want to go there again.  In fact, we need to find the "ugly/fat pool scene," so I can feel good about myself instead.  The W was rough on the ego. 

The Ritz-Carlton - Our friends Pete & Kim stayed here and their room was awesome...suite overlooking the beach...big place, though, and it's the Ritz, so don't expect the intimate, boutique feel...also, I heard the  Buffalo Bills stayed here for their games last year...for what it's worth.

Four Seasons - Downtown...I can see the pool from my office window.  Looks nice, and plenty of business folks stay here.  Also has an in-house L.A. Fitness/Reebok gym, which is a plus. 

The Mandarin Oriental - Also downtown, but on Brickell Key...basically its own island, very cool...can see the pool area and the "beach" they created from our offices...awesome spa - make sure you ask for Richard Herrera is you want a legit sports/swedish massage with no bullsh*t - he's the best...I have heard Azul, the in-house restaurant - has great sushi...Apparently this is where the Jennifer Aniston/John Mayer story broke, and supposedly those telephoto lens shots of them at the pool/beach were talking from my building - hell, maybe even our conference room on the 27th floor...solid, solid spot...great if you want to explore downtown and go to a Heat game and actually get a full night's sleep (unlike on South Beach), but also be aware the cab ride to and from SoBe will probably ding you like $25.  But it's closer to the airport so maybe it's all a wash in the end.

JW Marriott Marquis - Brand new downtown hotel...looks incredible...not much else to say...let me know if you go.


Slightly off-the-beaten path hotels:

The Standard - I love the Standard...boutique hotel, so it's small and intimate, but in an effort to be hip it kind of comes off a little Bauhaus/industrial to me...but for the price and the off-the-path location, I love it...solid restaurant, fun nightly stuff like "drinks and bingo night" at the bar/lounge, you can run the Venetian Causeway (the road we live on) when you stay here, you can use their gym (famous for their yoga and sauna) and you can walk to hidden gem local restaurants like Joe Allen, Casela, and B&B...their pool is also amazing and (ahem) European - yes, that means "topless" sometimes...however, note that The Standard is ON THE BAY, not the beach...I love it for that, and you can just cab to dinner and clubs, but others might find it too far off the path.

The Cadet - A straight-up value call...a block inland from The Delano...so you need to walk two blocks (and cross Collins Ave) to get to the beach...nice, clean place, solid rooms, no frills...if you plan on going out to eat and spending all day at the beach and you don't need a view of the ocean in your room, stay here and save the money.  And yes, Brielle and I have stayed here.  Also next door to Casa Tua, which is in the top four or five best restaurants in the area (...in no order, Casa Tua, Prime 112, Il Gabbiano, Zuma, Michy's).

Sanctuary Hotel - No idea about this place, but it actually looks cool based on the website...and the restaurant OLA is very popular...another one of the value plays - a couple blocks off the beach = probably 50% less per room than the places directly on the beach...let me know if you ever go.

Epic (Kimpton Hotels) - Only mentioning this one because I was there last week for dinner at Zuma (amazing...) and it had a cool downtown vibe and there's always a crazy nice yacht parked out front along the Miami River...and there were some pretty hip-looking and attractive people there waiting for valet car service. Heard the rooms are great, but no first hand experience.

The Intercontinental - Downtown, perfect if you are here on an overnight and going to a Heat game or a concert in Bayfront Park...Believe it or not, I am 90% sure the New Orleans Saints stayed here during the Superbowl since I kept seeing the Saints team bus parked out front.

Off-the-beaten path hotels:

Doubletree Grand Biscayne Bay - Ok, look...this is the inside scoop - my family stays here when they visit.  And if it's good enough for them...right?  It works for us because it's walking distance (across the drawbridge and over the bay) to our place on the Venetian Islands, but you also have a great park nearby, and you can walk to local delis and diners, and to Heat games too...my family says the pool is actually really nice with views over the Bay and out toward South Beach...so I ask you, Why Not?  I have seen $109 per night in summer and $250 per night over Christmas...about $15-20 to taxi to South Beach and roughly 3.5 miles to put your toes in the sand...also, since you are on the downtown side of the Bay, you are much closer to some of the truly hidden gems in Miami - the downtown and design district (Wynnwood) restaurants and clubs...finally, I bike past this place a few times a week, and all the college teams that play UM (last month it was the West Virginia Women's Soccer Team Bus) stay here...and during the Superbowl there were two buses out front marked "New Orleans Saints Family Bus."

Marriott Biscayne Bay - See above, they are right next door to one another.  I honestly confuse them all the time, so I am not sure if one is better than the other...

Mainstream Miami Dinner:

Casa Tua - stunning...it's hard to even see this hideaway restaurant in its house-like location on a very quiet, high-hedged & protected South Beach corner, but the $200k cars parked on the side street give it away...think about a beach house, veranda feel (as if you were with James Bond in the Bahamas)...fitting to mention Bond since the women hostesses here might be the most attractive women on all of South Beach...Italian food - crazy expensive...special occasions only, and this is not just the beautiful crowd, this is the beautiful and insanely wealthy crowd...no cheese factor, although it is a bit quiet and stuffy compared to other Miami venues, although I have heard the upstairs bar is a hell of a scene...first class all the way, though...for the 30-50 year-old crew with deep pockets...dress appropriately (the one place that I would probably not wear sneakers on the beach, and would probably add a sport coat to a button-down and jeans)...oh, and don't pull up in a Yugo.

Prime 112 and Prime Italian - I really, really want to hate this place...the cheese factor (2-3 bright yellow Ferraris parked out front at all times and 50-yr-old, tan guys with open shirts, gold chains, and pinky rings flashing cash at the bar), the rude service, the celebrity quotient (one Dwayne Wade sighting, one Charles Barkley sighting, one Jameer Nelson sighting), the mandatory one hour wait and $100 bar tab even though you are right on time for your table, and the price (outrageous unless you know what you are doing) all make me want to despise it...but I just can't.  In fact, the food is consistently good (in 5-6 visits, I have never had a bad meal) and the scene is so perfectly Miami Beach that you kind of have to go at least once.  So how do you do it?  Expect to spend $$ at the bar while you wait for your table - don't give the hostesses any attitude, it only makes it worse - but go with Heineken lights rather than serious drinks, then cut everything in half when you actually order dinner.  For example, one steak feeds two, no matter what they tell you.  The chopped salad feeds four, no matter what they tell you.  So be smart.  In terms of "must-haves," go with the deviled eggs in truffle oil appetizer, the cubed blue fin tuna sashimi (comes in a martini glass), the lobster tail stuffed with crab meat and scallops (probably $150 since they give you a four pound lobster tail, but for a large group it's a huge hit...and it's like eating a bucket of KFC - so decadent, so rich, that you will love every second of it but you'll feel like showering after), and the rib eye medium rare.  And don't sleep on the fried oreos for dessert.  I am not kidding, trust me.  Another secret?  Prime Italian across the street serves everything Prime 112 does, is slightly less crowded, and has slightly less attitude.  Added recommendations there:  try the huge meatball and get the lobster truffle pizza for $37.  It will be the most expensive pizza you ever get, but it will also be one of the best. Button-down + jeans. 

Zuma - Our most recent adventure, Brielle's dad's 64th birthday...I have low expectations for Asian food (aka, sushi with some cooked stuff) because in Miami you'll either get great food and no vibe, or a great vibe and lousy food.  And it's especially rare to get both when eating dinner downtown (I can't comment on lunch) but Zuma absolutely nailed it.  Roomy, round tables...loud, high ceiling room...long open kitchen...hopping bar scene...killer appetizers (the ribs were amazing...and the tempura tiger shrimp were great) and really fresh, really good (which is crazy hard to find in this town) sushi.  Highly recommended if you are downtown for a Heat game or something else, but will not blow you away if you are a New Yorker who always gets great sushi.  In that case, stay on the Beach...but in my case, especially for business dinners or pre-Heat, it's a find.  And a welcome respite from the steak and calorie bomb that is Prime 112.  Button-down + jeans.

BLT Steak - My favorite steakhouse on South Beach...not just because of the aforementioned hook-up (which is thankfully worse an extra appetizer or two...thanks Julie!) but also because it's a more refined, adult scene and the experience is more relaxing (read: you are not "herded" into cramped spaces nor given attitude).  The BLT signature popover bread is unreal, and their bone-in ribeye is just about the closest thing - for me - to heaven on earth in the meat department because of the way they manage to char the outside yet maintain medium rare on the inside.  The give-up on BLT, as expected, is the scene.  But sometimes less is more in my book.  And after you do Prime 112 and then go out hard, BLT is perfect for the next night.  Low key, relaxing and utterly enjoyable, and walk across the street to stroll down the beach pre- or post-meal.  Button-down + jeans. 

Red The Steakhouse - I was not that impressed (what differentiates it from any other steakhouse?  and it's on a dead street...) but maybe I went at the wrong time (7pm on a Thursday is early in Miami) and I need to give it another shot.  But honestly, the steak was good, the appetizers sucked (how do you mess up tuna tartare?) and the room/decor was...eh, ok.  Given the locale and the vibe, I would have hoped that a ridiculously good steak would have compensated for it all.  I heard that Michael Jordan and Charles Oakley eat here all the time, and the menu looks great, the wine list is serious, and they really seem to focus hard on good quality meats that are perfectly prepared.  But I was underwhelmed.  Or maybe just whelmed.  Try it and tell me if I am wrong. 

Mr. Chow - If you are a foodie, you know all about this place...amazing food (get anything with lobster!), great service, hot chicks (if you are into that sort of thing), and legit vibe.  Eat here and then go to the Wall Bar or back to the pool (both in the W Hotel), or walk down to The Delano and go to the Florida Room or Plunge at the Gansevoort.  But the elephant in the room always remains:  How can you justify paying this much for Chinese food??!!

Joe's Stone Crab - Ahhh, the ol' Miami standby...Joe, whoever that is, was a genius because he took something that simply tastes incredible on its own - the Stone Crab legs/knuckles/claws - slapped up four walls, called it a restaurant, and charged like 10x what stone crab actually costs.  God bless Joe.  Look, this place is a Miami institution, and in fairness, the hash browns are outrageously good.  (It's amazing how many steakhouses can't get 'em right.)  But do yourself a favor...call Joe's Takeout, order the blackened grouper sandwich (extra tartar), the hash browns, the creamed spinach, a few large crab claws (bigger is not better - avoid XL - no flavor at all, get medium or large) and the key lime pie and call it a day.  For me, I call that a hung-over Sunday.  The takeout spot is attached to the main restaurant and it's just an overall better experience.  And if you really want value vis-a-vis stone crab pricing, just get them downtown along the Miami River.  Try Garcia's.  (Hard to get to, but hop in the rental and googlemap it.  Oh, and it helps to speak a little Spanish...after all, it's pretty authentic Miami.)

Nobu - Asian fusion, blah blah blah.  In fact, now that I think about it, Nobu 57 is essentially the NYC mirror image of Prime 112 in Miami -- it's always been the place I want to hate for it's now-cliche menu and its midtown Manhattan oh-too-cool-business crowd nonsense, but the toro tartare in wasabi broth with lychee & caviar (note to self:  deathbed meal, even though it's like $50 per serving) and the rock shrimp appetizer absolutely win me over...every time.  The difference in Miami though, is that the sushi is weak.  (There's another blog on my Miami sushi theory somewhere on the right side of this page.)  So if you are craving those two things and are ok with mediocre sushi at a crazy price, go for it.  But it's not my first choice. 

Meat Market - Really, really good food, great location on Lincoln Road...clean, cool, sexy space, excellent service, and great vibe/scene...but just obscenely priced.  Dinner for two with a $90 bottle of wine (about the cheapest on the list) for $350?  Two dudes eating steak at the bar?  That's just nuts.  But if you are on vacation and feel like splurging and strolling Lincoln Road (always a treat for people-watching) before or after you eat, I highly recommend it.  Legit. 

Il Gabbiano - Ok, here's the back story from a reliable source.  Il Mulino is a West Village New York institution, but the owners sold out years ago.  At some stage, they actually sold the Il Mulino name to a North Beach/Aventura Trump Hotel.  But recently, they got the urge to get back into the restaurant business and didn't want NYC anymore and obviously couldn't use the Il Mulino name anymore.  So what did they do?  Yup, they opened Il Gabbiano.  Seriously, this place is awesome.  Located downtown, so a little less laid-back vacation vibe and more "buttoned-up" than the beach.  And a slightly older crowd.  But so charming for its location (along the Miami River and Biscayne Bay waterfront) and for its old school male-waiters-with-white-aprons vibe, that you have to go at least once.  And on top of all that, the food is simply the best of the best in terms of Italian staples:  pastas, meats, fish, etc.  Great wines, very romantic if you have a corner table, or great business with the guys if you want steak and pasta and Barolo at a larger table... Love it. 

Slightly-off-the-path dinner:

Macaluso's - Tucked away in a tiny strip mall retail corner at 18th and Alton...simply put, the best meatballs that you will ever eat.  The staff can be a bit obnoxious, though, and they definitely treat the local regulars better than the rest.  And while I would love to be a local regular, at $100 per person, it's a bit much... But again, if you are tired of the South Beach trendy spots, and you want to see a savvy celebrity or two who is not looking to "see and be seen" at Prime 112, you will find them here.  Alternatively, get a takeout order of the meatballs with extra mascarpone cheese on the side and call me after the orgasm. 

Michy's - Simply awesome.  Michelle Bernstein's centerpiece restaurant, and she's the real deal.  Off the beaten path up around 78th and Biscayne - foodies only - but so worth it.  You need to be the kind of person that does not need to brag about their trip to Miami to go here though.  In other words, you need to be intelligent and independent.  Because when you get home, and all your friends ask about Nikki Beach's brunch and Prime 112's dinner, you would need to have the stones to say, "actually, we went to Michy's" and be ok with that.  Not so much a place for a bunch of dudes or business, but it's a great date spot if you have already eaten on the beach one night and are looking for something different.  Pricey taxi ride from South Beach, and probably better suited for those who have been to Miami before and are looking for something a little off the beaten path, but without sacrificing any quality of the mainstream joints.

Michael's Genuine Food - Here's one that I think has jumped the shark and that I have grown to dislike a little...Pretty quickly after we moved here three years ago, we went to Michael's and felt all "West Village" in the sense that we had found a gem far from the maddening tourists of TimesSquareSouthBeach...It's on the downtown side, in the Wynnwood Design District...but then Michael's got too popular...there were celebrity sightings, and the staff developed attitude and all of a sudden it lost its luster.  Like most cities, there is a crew in Miami that are "very wealthy, in their 50s and 60s, that have great taste and a slight urge to see and be seen and then talk about it" that descend on a place and make it...ummm...slightly less edgy.  New Yorkers know what I mean.  It's the people who "hear" about a spot and then have to go so they can check it out and tell others that they went.  (And the phrase "I heard" about it really should be translated as I am not remotely "in the know," I actually read it in a magazine but I am making it sound like I am in the know by telling you I "heard" about it...or a friend of mine read it in a magazine and then told me.  Which - in fairness - really describes all of us when it comes down to it.  The only people who truly "hear" about a place are friends of the chef or the staff or the people who live next door and stumble in by accident the day it opens or something...but I digress.)  In other words, it's eating out for sport.  It's the Upper East Side couple who dresses younger than they are and get the "hot off the presses" New York Magazine and rush to the newest reviewed spot ASAP.  It's a little less about enjoyment of the experience and a little more consumptive of the experience, if that makes any sense.  They're the same folks that buy "trendy" clothes at Neiman Marcus in a swanky mall, which means kids on the Lower East Side have probably been wearing it for, like, three years already.  You know what I mean.  Anyway, my point is that those folks descended upon Michael's and got kinda cozy there.  Nothing but black and silver Mercedes being valeted all night long.  Meaning that it's probably still great and I would recommend someone try it out because the food has never really faltered, but that it's really not for me anymore.  

Off-the-beaten-path dinner (aka, locals only):

Gigi's - Loooove this new noodle bar in midtown.  Small & cheap bites, industrial, clean decor, open kitchen, Sapporo on tap.  Need I say more?  Ok, how's this - the BLT is made with pork belly rather than bacon.  Awesome.

Joe Allen - A local's paradise...quiet, moderately priced, and consistent.  Anchor Steam on tap, wow.  Tuna tartare appetizer is a must.  Basic bistro fare - couple pastas, chickens, fish, meatloaf, burger, etc.  Solid all the way.  A great easy dinner for us. 

Sylvano's - Ok, full disclosure...The eponymous Sylvano himself lives in our building and we love the guy, but we didn't know that the first two times we went there.  Make no mistake - this is a local joint.  No scene to speak of at all, and if there were no windows in the place you might not even guess that you were in the middle (8th and Alton) of South Beach.  It's just a lively crowd of happy people who actually live on South Beach rather than visit.  Sylvano honestly makes my favorite pizza on the beach (get the four cheese pie) and my favorite fried calamari.  There are always specials, and his daily fish is usually very good.  When you go, tell Sylvano (he'll be the dapper, Euro guy with the long salt and pepper hair with a crisp white shirt unbuttoned a few buttons hanging around the bar) that Ben & Brielle sent you, and hopefully he'll toss some extra limoncello or bruschetta your way. 
Red Light Little River - Another major favorite...I love this place.  The chef is awesome and the space is so cool...it's way off the normal path and its definitely a local crowd... these guys took over an old diner of an old 70's motel at 75th and Biscayne and put up one red light over the corner booth, cranked killer tunes, got a great beer/wine list (random eclectic beers are awesome), opened up the kitchen, and turned out tangy, tasty unique dishes like BBQ shrimp and bacon-and-fontina grill cheese.  Menu always changes based on fresh ingredients, you can also BYOB, and it's cheap.  And yes, we were "in the know" on this one...a friend of Brielle's is a friend of the chef, so we were very early on it.  But there's only one problem...the last few people we have sent there (it's been six months for us) told us it stunk, badly!  Huhn?  I dunno, but I am concerned - say it ain't so!  This place even got this stellar review (Best Value in Miami) from the Miami New Times this year!  So color me confused.  I love this place and hope all is well...so if you go before we go back, let me know!

Matsuri -Without hesitation, the best sushi in all of Miami.  Don't take my word for it.  Read this.  Anyway, it's in a strip mall somewhere in between the airport and Coral Gables (...really?  40th Street and 57th Avenue?  wow...) and I had severe doubts when we pulled up...but when we walked in, I may as well have been walking into a larger version of Blue Ribbon sushi in downtown NYC, or Sushi of Gari on the Upper West Side.  It was just fantastic.  We really, really need to go more, but it's hard to motivate and drive 20-30 minutes.  Screw it, we're going tonight...there's no excuse. (Yes, that's how good it is.)  And "thank you" to whoever runs this place and ensures the freshness and quality -- finally, finally, finally...we found NYC quality sushi in the city of Miami...

Buena Vista Bistro & Buena Vista Bistro Deli - Tiny local joints with the same owner and about a block apart...love 'em.  BVB is a great little French bistro that is very authentic...perfect for a bottle of rose and a solid steak frites...food is fresh and menu seems to change daily.  And BVBD simply has the best Quiche Lorraine that I have ever tasted outside of France.  (bacon & cheese to you heathens...and no, I am not gay because I know what Quiche Lorraine is.  It has bacon in it for christ's sake.)  After a tough weekend workout, when I am craving that salty breakfast food, I will detour well out of my way to get this quiche.  People who know me, know that is saying a lot.  Great croissants and other stuff too... And it's as local as it gets - feels like everyone who goes there lives within the neighborhood.

Mandolin - Nicely fills the glaring Greek/Mediterranean/Turkish hole in Miami dining.  Fresh fish with olive oil and capers...amazing breads and humus, baba ganoush, tzatziki, etc...excellent fried calamari...cool selection of Greek wines...and killer outdoor space.  Such a nice spot and a great vibe.  Thinking about this place relaxes me.  We are huge fans of Kefi on the UWS in Manhattan, and Mandolin has helped us get over that loss here in Miami.  When you are not into the traffic and parking on South Beach and the hustle and bustle of the terrible service and the loud tourists, park right in front of this place and then take your sweet time eating awesome Mediterranean fare in their back garden.  It will instantly relax you.  That, and the ouzo.  Trust me, you will love it. 

Morgan's - Puts the comfort in comfort food.  I mean...thick crispy bacon that is somehow infused with maple syrup?!  Whaaat?!  (And the bacon is always crispy...I can't tell you how much I hate chewy, fatty bacon...god bless these guys for understanding that.)  The owners are friends from the gym, but it would not matter - this place just rocks.  For my money, it's the best BLT and the best Meatloaf in Miami.  How's this for proof -- our weekend breakfast here ends up costing like $75 for two because when I ask for the check, I also order one BLT and one meatloaf to eat later while I watch football.  It's that good - I order multiple meals at once, and sometimes six hours in advance. 

Going out:

Florida Room - Have not been since the pregnancy/baby thing mentioned above, but it was our spot.  If you notice that the bouncer is a well-dressed, sharp, nice guy named Granville, please tell him Ben & Brielle say hello...hopefully he remembers us, and he'll probably be nice and fake it, but he really is a nice guy and it really is a cool spot.  Live music, and since Lenny Kravitz designed the place, there are some major acts (like Tribe Called Quest...I am bummed I missed that night) that just show up and grab a mic.  Drinks are steep, but getting a table for 5-10 people and paying $700 for the Grey Goose Magnum is actually well-worth it since the table is yours all night, the mixers keep coming, and you become a draw for some of the nearby crowd of lonely ladies.  And, oh yeah...maybe the prettiest (not sexiest, not raunchiest, actually prettiest) hostess in South Beach is the girl from Tallinn, Estonia.  In fact, a guy I was with once gave her something like a $1000 tip just to keep talking at her and looking at her all night.  It was pretty funny.  Nice girl, though - I got in trouble with my wife for yelling out "Tallinn" and making her smile when I heard her answer "Estonia" to someone else's question.  But it was just my trivia Tourette's acting up.  I couldn't resist. 

LIV - No idea, only heard stories, but the most popular place on the beach.  Apparently.  Double check though - I am not sure anymore. 

Plunge - It's outside, so that's awesome...beautiful people lounging around a pool...fun bar, cool kinda outdoor-ish bathrooms...believe it or not, gets chilly up there at night sometimes though...

Bardot - Been there once and felt like I was hanging in Williamsburg, NY with all the cool people.  Or at least the Lower East Side.  Nice long bar, live music right on top of you (no stage, they just play right there in front of you), and a group of hipster locals just hanging out.  $6 Red Stripes are a plus in this town.  Nothing pretentious, totally comfortable even though it was a little...artsy, I guess.  Highly recommended when you finally get up the nerve to skip South Beach and head downtown. 

Mix-and-match logistics for going out:

(Nota bene:  When spending bucks at a restaurant that has a nightclub in-house (STK+Plunge, Blade/Hakkasan+LIV, Blue Door at the Delano+The Florida Room), ask the maitre d' for advice or help on how to get in to the club if it's 11pm or later.  Maybe a $20 goes a long way?  Getting in at 10pm or 10:30pm, on the other hand, is generally easy.)

Dinner at Mr. Chow, drinks at the Wall Bar or the W Pool (all at 23rd and Collins), clubbing at Plunge (24th and Collins) in the Gansevoort or The Florida Room (18th and Collins) in The Delano.

Dinner at STK in the Gansevoort (24th and Collins), drinks at the main bar in the center of STK and clubbing upstairs at Plunge.

Dinner at Blade in the Fountainbleau (or Hakkasan or Scarpetta; 44th and Collins), drinks at the lobby bar (a great scene actually, since it's so hard to get into the club), clubbing at LIV.  Be prepared to beg and/or wait in line for LIV, but they payoff is that you will probably see girls models drinking champagne and making out, so there's that. 

Dinner at Prime Italian or Prime 112 (1st and Ocean), cab north to The Florida Room, Plunge, or - if up for a longer ride - LIV.
  
Best-night-out-I-have-had-in-Miami:

It was recent, and actually all on the downtown side...we experienced midtown Miami and the Wynnwood area at its finest... dinner at Joey's Pizzeria...drinks at Cafeina...short drive to Bardot for live music, great bar scene, red stripes...home by 1am.  Perfect.  It was all very laid back, good vibe, local crowd, no BS, inexpensive fun - but still hip people and very attractive girls...had more fun just relaxing than I have had at other Miami spots where everyone is "working" at being out...screw that.